WTF! That's all I can say. The economy is horrible, right? People are losing their jobs left and right, correct? Then why is it that every time I go shopping, the service is shitty, the shelves are empty and I can't find a parking spot??
We just got home from Babies R Us where we potentially could have spent $500. today. We need some big ticket items. Besides the fact that we couldn't even find a salesperson to help us, when we did find the area where the items were, they were sold out.
We picked up a couple things that weren't even what we went for. The lines at the register were long and then one cashier closed. Seriously!! If the job market is so tough, why isn't service impeccable?
This isn't just the case at Babies R Us. I've had the same problem at Target, Stride Rite, Macy's and Bloomingdale's recently (to name a few.)
I was shopping for bridal gowns with my soon to be sister in law yesterday. We went to a bridal salon that only sells couture gowns (I would say the average price there for a wedding dress is around $3000-3500.) We literally had to park in the hotel parking lot next door and had to make an appointment. If Bride A didn't buy a dress, our consultant was about to move on to another client! (The service there was excellent, I must add, for a change.) I witnessed several brides purchase gowns in a short time period yesterday. Of the gowns I recognized, 1 was a $5000 Monique Lhuillier, another a $5500 Ines de Santo. I've heard the wedding biz is seeing a slump, too. I guess these brides decided to serve their guests chicken instead of filet in lieu of giving up their couture! (I say good decision!)
I believe the economy is bad. I am starting to hear of some people I personally know having troubles. Independent contractors who aren't getting projects, friends whose hours are being cut, or their company's are closing. It just seems like the media is spurring this economic crisis more than anything else because in LA, it seems pretty much like business as usual in the stores.
Word to those gainfully employed in a restaurant, store or other service position: Maybe you oughta "go above and beyond" because if the service I've seen keeps up, and the economy keeps going down, you will probably be living on your unemployment check.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
My favorite Celeb sighting!
Hi Sisters, I just had to share about my celeb sighting today! I think this is my best random sighting of all time! I took baby A and 3 girlfriends and we went to brunch at a local organic vegan restaurant, and sitting straight across from me, lookin' right at me was Reese Witherspoon! She is much smaller than I thought, her hair is darker, she needs her roots done like me and her chin doesn't look nearly as big as onscreen. She was alone but there were 2 teas on the table.... and suddenly here comes Jake Gylenhal from the bathroom! He looked..... exactly the same.
This is the best celeb sighting I've had in a while. Living in LA, I see people quite a bit, but these are probably the biggest stars I've seen randomly (not at a planned event or party.) Just wanted to share! =)
This is the best celeb sighting I've had in a while. Living in LA, I see people quite a bit, but these are probably the biggest stars I've seen randomly (not at a planned event or party.) Just wanted to share! =)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Gotta love your MIL
I just came from spending a couple hours with my Mother in law. I try to take baby A to see her when the cleaning lady is at my house or when I will be in her neighborhood, which is a comfortable twenty-some miles from my home. I left today, as I often do, with a headache.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my MIL. She is a very warm and loving mother (along with controlling and extremely opinionated, but that's to be expected I suppose.) A typical Jewish mother, except a younger and more attractive version of what you would picture.
The thing is, like many Grandmothers, she is constantly offering her opinion but in such a way that it sounds like she is saying I am a bad mother. My husband says that I am just sensitive and imagining it, but I don't think so. She made a comment today about the shoes baby A is wearing. A has a little runny nose and it seems like she is either possibly teething or getting a little cold and somehow, some way, it's like she is in a competition with me to diagnose A first. Every time I tell a story that I think she would truly enjoy about A's development (like her new obsession with reading the same book over and over and over) she has to try to one-up me! Yes, my MIL taught A to clap her hands. That's awesome! I'm psyched! I totally give her credit! I am not all jealous and needing to try to take that away from her.
My MIL sees A twice a week on average. Somehow, though, it's like she needs to compete with me over who saw which milestones first. Seriously? I am with the child 24/7; you see her maybe 5 hours a week! It kills me when she says "OMG, you have to see what she just did; she was standing up all by herself and clapping!" Um, yeh, she's been doing that for a while now.
This isn't the case with my Mom at all. My Mom has never done anything remotely offensive or improper, or made any comments. This always seems to be the case; the MIL is the issue, never our own mother's. Why is that?
I know my MIL loves my daughter. She loves her like crazy! I just wonder why she can't enjoy her WITH me and not try to prove that she is a better mother than I am or something. I get it, you raised 3 kids. I respect you. Is it too much to ask for a little respect in return?
Now don't get me wrong, I love my MIL. She is a very warm and loving mother (along with controlling and extremely opinionated, but that's to be expected I suppose.) A typical Jewish mother, except a younger and more attractive version of what you would picture.
The thing is, like many Grandmothers, she is constantly offering her opinion but in such a way that it sounds like she is saying I am a bad mother. My husband says that I am just sensitive and imagining it, but I don't think so. She made a comment today about the shoes baby A is wearing. A has a little runny nose and it seems like she is either possibly teething or getting a little cold and somehow, some way, it's like she is in a competition with me to diagnose A first. Every time I tell a story that I think she would truly enjoy about A's development (like her new obsession with reading the same book over and over and over) she has to try to one-up me! Yes, my MIL taught A to clap her hands. That's awesome! I'm psyched! I totally give her credit! I am not all jealous and needing to try to take that away from her.
My MIL sees A twice a week on average. Somehow, though, it's like she needs to compete with me over who saw which milestones first. Seriously? I am with the child 24/7; you see her maybe 5 hours a week! It kills me when she says "OMG, you have to see what she just did; she was standing up all by herself and clapping!" Um, yeh, she's been doing that for a while now.
This isn't the case with my Mom at all. My Mom has never done anything remotely offensive or improper, or made any comments. This always seems to be the case; the MIL is the issue, never our own mother's. Why is that?
I know my MIL loves my daughter. She loves her like crazy! I just wonder why she can't enjoy her WITH me and not try to prove that she is a better mother than I am or something. I get it, you raised 3 kids. I respect you. Is it too much to ask for a little respect in return?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Measuring Family Ties ~ Eva
I have long imagined what life would be like to start my own family. I'm sure all women do. You think about what the baby will look like, you imagine sweet smiles and loving coos, and how full your days would be caring for and playing with your new bundle. The one thing I never imagined, nor EVER came to mind, is what it would be like for the extended family. Having a baby truly strengthens the family ties and our ties are now about 25 inches long - coincidentally, the current length of my baby boy.
I have to be brutally honest here; that is way too short and too close for comfort, for me. I have never been the kind of girl that needed to stick close to home for family, or got homesick, or wanted to move back to a town near my sister or parents, and definitely did not ask for help or seek out their advice. Hence, why I was never for a moment, scared to move so far away from them. I am a loner of sorts and thrive in my independence. I do enjoy talking with my family often and visiting with them in a 3 day (maximum) duration a few times a year. They understand this about me and have not infringed on my privacy or independence at all since my firstborn baby arrived. What I did not anticipate, is how my in-laws would act.
First of all, let me start off by saying that my husband's family is wonderful. They are truly the warmest, nicest, most thoughtful midwestern people you could imagine - as though they walked straight off the streets of the real Mayberry. We're talking parents still together (very rare these days) and three successful and good-looking children, whom all get along well with each other, and have all accepted me as though I was heaven sent (my husband laughs at that). I'm especially close to my sister-in-law, who is my husband's baby sister. She is the kind of girl you want to hate but can't - she's gorgeous, very successful, extremely generous, funny, and angelic. The kind of girl who can make anyone they meet, genuinely feel like the most important person in the room (a trait I've never been good at). Basically, she is the absolute opposite of all my former boyfriends' younger sisters ( a story I'll save for another time). The catch is, our baby, my baby, is the absolute first baby in his entire family. He is the first grandchild and great grandchild. Talk about pressure.
While pregnant, I imagined this to be a good thing. I thought about how loved (and spoiled) my little man would be. Since my baby is simply the youngest in a huge brood of granchildren among my family, I thought it would be special that he is the first in my husband's. I remember my co-worker saying to me that everything will change with the in-laws once the baby arrives. I defended myself and my in-laws, saying "No way. I love them. It won't be like that." I admit now, how very wrong I was. Having a baby has greatly changed the dynamics of my relationship with my in-laws; and not for the better.
The best one-word description for my new feelings toward it all is annoyance. I honestly kept an open-mind throughout my pregnancy regarding the roles of my MIL and FIL. Yes, I got a little annoyed when they stayed for a long weekend with us in the summer, but mainly because they took over my kitchen and treated me like I was crippled. I kindly reminded them that I was simply pregnant, and was more than capable of getting my own drink. The change really hit me when my MIL stayed with us for TEN DAYS after the baby was born. We literally got discharged from the hospital and drove straight to the airport to pick her up. TEN DAYS!!
Holy cow, I still get shivers when I think about it. I can't even spend 3 consecutive days with my own family. In that long and dreadful week and a half, I learned a lot about myself. Mainly, that I absolutely abhor unsolicited advice. Is there some unwritten law out there, that once a MIL becomes a grandmother to your child, she has a lifelong fulfillment to tell her daughter-in-law exactly how to do EVERYTHING? The second thing I learned about myself is that I'm truly so happy that we do not live within driving distance of them. I know this is somewhat selfish on my part, because maybe my son would enjoy having his grandparents nearby as he grows. OK, it is selfish. I don't care! I justify it by thinking that my child would rather have a "happy mommy" than a frustrated one who has to deal with daily house calls. Ugh!
I think the part that frustrates me most about the advice is that it is sooo outdated. I mean back when she had kids, they didn't even strap them in car seats for God's sake. They just let them run around the moving vehicle like it was romper room. I remember calling my fellow sister Jennifer, and through tears of frustration, venting my guilty feelings for not wanting my sweet MIL in my home or near my child. She said something that has stuck with me ever since, "maybe if they read a book about babies that was written in the last decade...". That could not be more true! Let's see, the major highlights were that she had no clue as to what SIDS is (which I fully explained, backed with medical evidence), she never even looked at our baby registry and therefore had no idea what any of our baby gear was used for, she would try and take the baby away from me when I was nursing him or changing his diapers or simply bonding with him (and she would do it in a fashion to make me feel like I NEEDED her help because I couldn't handle it on my own), and the straw that broke the camel's back was when she attempted to give me her ideas (that were incorrect) on my difficult start to breastfeeding.
For the pregnant women and new moms out there, I will explain the breastfeeding situation. It took almost a week for my milk to come in, due to my stressful delivery. My baby latched on right away, but soon got tired and frustrated with the colostrum and wanted more substance. He has always been, and still is, a ferocious eater and wants his milk as quickly as you can give it. On the second day after his birth I noticed he would start rooting, latch on, and then push himself away out of frustration, then simply cry himself to sleep. On the third day, the nurses said he lost a significant amount of weight and so I had the lactation nurses come in to our room. They explained that some babies just don't want the colostrum and start to push away from the breast, if this happens too many times, the baby will associate your breast with "no milk" and simply detach, which was exactly what he was doing. Thankfully, they set me up with a supplemental feeding system that allowed the baby to get formula fed while he latched on, thus helping to stimulate your milk supply and teaching the baby that mommy's breast is a "good thing". As any woman who has breastfed knows, the more the baby latches on, the more your body will increase milk supply. End result: my milk came in like a flood after 6 or 7 days and he quickly gained his weight back.
Back to my MIL story, so during this stressful period of waiting for my milk to come in, she ignorantly tells me that I should stop the supplemental feeding system because it was "tricking" my body and thus preventing the milk from coming (WTF?), and then blatantly tells me that I needed to "rethink" my expectations of what motherhood and a schedule for my baby would be like and "just go with the flow". That second statement really got under my skin because I had no, and still do not have, ANY type of strict schedule. From day one, it has always been according to the baby's mood each day. This is not my first experience with babies. I am very close to 7 of my nieces and nephews, acted as a free live-in nanny for my sisters first-born, and have also worked as a nanny for several wealthy families, which meant practicly raising their children. I knew she was projecting and thinking about herself when she was a new mother (thirty some years ago). Needless to say, I blew my lid and drew a very defined boundary around myself and my baby.
Anyway, what is my point besides dredging up past irritants about the in-laws? Well, she called today saying that she is sending me a book on methods for getting the baby to sleep through the night. I know why my baby doesn't sleep all the way through the night, it's because he's ALWAYS hungry. Back to my point of him being a ferocious eater. Therefore, he will most likely be on this schedule until I start him on solids such as rice cereal.
Back to biting my tongue. ...
I'm sure I'll keep you informed of MIL updates, since that is now on my hot list. Gotta go... baby's hungry.
I have to be brutally honest here; that is way too short and too close for comfort, for me. I have never been the kind of girl that needed to stick close to home for family, or got homesick, or wanted to move back to a town near my sister or parents, and definitely did not ask for help or seek out their advice. Hence, why I was never for a moment, scared to move so far away from them. I am a loner of sorts and thrive in my independence. I do enjoy talking with my family often and visiting with them in a 3 day (maximum) duration a few times a year. They understand this about me and have not infringed on my privacy or independence at all since my firstborn baby arrived. What I did not anticipate, is how my in-laws would act.
First of all, let me start off by saying that my husband's family is wonderful. They are truly the warmest, nicest, most thoughtful midwestern people you could imagine - as though they walked straight off the streets of the real Mayberry. We're talking parents still together (very rare these days) and three successful and good-looking children, whom all get along well with each other, and have all accepted me as though I was heaven sent (my husband laughs at that). I'm especially close to my sister-in-law, who is my husband's baby sister. She is the kind of girl you want to hate but can't - she's gorgeous, very successful, extremely generous, funny, and angelic. The kind of girl who can make anyone they meet, genuinely feel like the most important person in the room (a trait I've never been good at). Basically, she is the absolute opposite of all my former boyfriends' younger sisters ( a story I'll save for another time). The catch is, our baby, my baby, is the absolute first baby in his entire family. He is the first grandchild and great grandchild. Talk about pressure.
While pregnant, I imagined this to be a good thing. I thought about how loved (and spoiled) my little man would be. Since my baby is simply the youngest in a huge brood of granchildren among my family, I thought it would be special that he is the first in my husband's. I remember my co-worker saying to me that everything will change with the in-laws once the baby arrives. I defended myself and my in-laws, saying "No way. I love them. It won't be like that." I admit now, how very wrong I was. Having a baby has greatly changed the dynamics of my relationship with my in-laws; and not for the better.
The best one-word description for my new feelings toward it all is annoyance. I honestly kept an open-mind throughout my pregnancy regarding the roles of my MIL and FIL. Yes, I got a little annoyed when they stayed for a long weekend with us in the summer, but mainly because they took over my kitchen and treated me like I was crippled. I kindly reminded them that I was simply pregnant, and was more than capable of getting my own drink. The change really hit me when my MIL stayed with us for TEN DAYS after the baby was born. We literally got discharged from the hospital and drove straight to the airport to pick her up. TEN DAYS!!
Holy cow, I still get shivers when I think about it. I can't even spend 3 consecutive days with my own family. In that long and dreadful week and a half, I learned a lot about myself. Mainly, that I absolutely abhor unsolicited advice. Is there some unwritten law out there, that once a MIL becomes a grandmother to your child, she has a lifelong fulfillment to tell her daughter-in-law exactly how to do EVERYTHING? The second thing I learned about myself is that I'm truly so happy that we do not live within driving distance of them. I know this is somewhat selfish on my part, because maybe my son would enjoy having his grandparents nearby as he grows. OK, it is selfish. I don't care! I justify it by thinking that my child would rather have a "happy mommy" than a frustrated one who has to deal with daily house calls. Ugh!
I think the part that frustrates me most about the advice is that it is sooo outdated. I mean back when she had kids, they didn't even strap them in car seats for God's sake. They just let them run around the moving vehicle like it was romper room. I remember calling my fellow sister Jennifer, and through tears of frustration, venting my guilty feelings for not wanting my sweet MIL in my home or near my child. She said something that has stuck with me ever since, "maybe if they read a book about babies that was written in the last decade...". That could not be more true! Let's see, the major highlights were that she had no clue as to what SIDS is (which I fully explained, backed with medical evidence), she never even looked at our baby registry and therefore had no idea what any of our baby gear was used for, she would try and take the baby away from me when I was nursing him or changing his diapers or simply bonding with him (and she would do it in a fashion to make me feel like I NEEDED her help because I couldn't handle it on my own), and the straw that broke the camel's back was when she attempted to give me her ideas (that were incorrect) on my difficult start to breastfeeding.
For the pregnant women and new moms out there, I will explain the breastfeeding situation. It took almost a week for my milk to come in, due to my stressful delivery. My baby latched on right away, but soon got tired and frustrated with the colostrum and wanted more substance. He has always been, and still is, a ferocious eater and wants his milk as quickly as you can give it. On the second day after his birth I noticed he would start rooting, latch on, and then push himself away out of frustration, then simply cry himself to sleep. On the third day, the nurses said he lost a significant amount of weight and so I had the lactation nurses come in to our room. They explained that some babies just don't want the colostrum and start to push away from the breast, if this happens too many times, the baby will associate your breast with "no milk" and simply detach, which was exactly what he was doing. Thankfully, they set me up with a supplemental feeding system that allowed the baby to get formula fed while he latched on, thus helping to stimulate your milk supply and teaching the baby that mommy's breast is a "good thing". As any woman who has breastfed knows, the more the baby latches on, the more your body will increase milk supply. End result: my milk came in like a flood after 6 or 7 days and he quickly gained his weight back.
Back to my MIL story, so during this stressful period of waiting for my milk to come in, she ignorantly tells me that I should stop the supplemental feeding system because it was "tricking" my body and thus preventing the milk from coming (WTF?), and then blatantly tells me that I needed to "rethink" my expectations of what motherhood and a schedule for my baby would be like and "just go with the flow". That second statement really got under my skin because I had no, and still do not have, ANY type of strict schedule. From day one, it has always been according to the baby's mood each day. This is not my first experience with babies. I am very close to 7 of my nieces and nephews, acted as a free live-in nanny for my sisters first-born, and have also worked as a nanny for several wealthy families, which meant practicly raising their children. I knew she was projecting and thinking about herself when she was a new mother (thirty some years ago). Needless to say, I blew my lid and drew a very defined boundary around myself and my baby.
Anyway, what is my point besides dredging up past irritants about the in-laws? Well, she called today saying that she is sending me a book on methods for getting the baby to sleep through the night. I know why my baby doesn't sleep all the way through the night, it's because he's ALWAYS hungry. Back to my point of him being a ferocious eater. Therefore, he will most likely be on this schedule until I start him on solids such as rice cereal.
Back to biting my tongue. ...
I'm sure I'll keep you informed of MIL updates, since that is now on my hot list. Gotta go... baby's hungry.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Eva's obsession with The Biggest Loser
Yes, I admit that I am obsessed with the show "The Biggest Loser". I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it is because I like to see the contestants turn their lives around and get healthy, or maybe because watching the trainers, Bob and Jillian, drill their teams to the brink of death is motivational yet amusing to me (if they can do it after years of being sedentary, then I can certainly get to the gym today), but part of it is pure fascination.
As I started my group training session yesterday, I got a sudden pang of enthusiasm when one of the women (all of which are new mothers in this group) and my trainer, whom I compare to a sweeter version of Jillian, were discussing this week's episode. Specifically, they were discussing Bob's blow-up at one of his trainees (which I thought was AWESOME). My first thought was a "so there" to my husband, since he thinks I'm just a wee bit crazy for watching every episode for the past three seasons. Then, my next rational thought was "I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with this obsession". These women, are not only self-proclaimed addicts to The Biggest Loser, they are also in phenomenal shape. I can understand why my trainer would be a fan of the show due to her being in the same profession as Bob and Jillian, but what about my fellow workout partner? Turns out, she watches the show for the same exact reasons I do.
I'm mainly just fascinated with the aspect of how The Biggest Loser contestants have all gotten to the point where they are at the start of the show. After watching the background pieces on each person, you'll find some with food addictions, or some with a hardship they couldn't get over in their past, for others they simply "let themselves go".
On the news, they continually report on the obesity problem in America for adults and children. I will admit, that before I really started watching the show, I wasn't aware of how big this problem apparently is. See, I live in a very fit community. It's a beachtown, which has a lot to do with people's incentive for staying in shape. But more than that, it is an active community where people stay socially involved by staying fit. Whether we see our acquaintances at the gym, a pilates class, playing a sport, or jogging on one of the many trails in town, it seems to be the primary and socially acceptable way to meet people and gain friends in town. It's as though your exercise agenda adds credibility to your character. It's amazing how many times I've heard "oh she runs half-marathons", or "she goes to the pilates studio", or "he goes to the crosstraining gym". A big part of conversations with friends, co-workers, acquaintances is our workout schedule. Just ask my husband, having moved here only three years ago, he has more friends than I do, and 90% of them he met by seeing them daily at the gym. Therefore, living in my small and somewhat vain community has put blinders on me, as to what a big part of America looks like. I apologize for that. On the upside, it provides me with a plethora of exercise partners who are all working for the same healthy goals, and thus eliminating a great deal of temptation that middle-America may face.
The other part of my fascination stems from my compassionate side. I can understand the difficulties each contestant faced during their lives, that led them down the unhealthy path they are on. Then my excitement builds each week as I see these people shed pounds, add strength and gain confidence. Ultimately, I just like to see people improve their lives and themselves. Watching this, drives me to improve my own health and strength. So when my trainer starts telling me to "push through the pain", I find some hidden inner strength to complete this tortuous action. The result is that I've steadily gotten stronger every week since the birth of my baby. Woo Hoo to that!
So thank you Biggest Loser for those "last chance workouts".
http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/
As I started my group training session yesterday, I got a sudden pang of enthusiasm when one of the women (all of which are new mothers in this group) and my trainer, whom I compare to a sweeter version of Jillian, were discussing this week's episode. Specifically, they were discussing Bob's blow-up at one of his trainees (which I thought was AWESOME). My first thought was a "so there" to my husband, since he thinks I'm just a wee bit crazy for watching every episode for the past three seasons. Then, my next rational thought was "I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with this obsession". These women, are not only self-proclaimed addicts to The Biggest Loser, they are also in phenomenal shape. I can understand why my trainer would be a fan of the show due to her being in the same profession as Bob and Jillian, but what about my fellow workout partner? Turns out, she watches the show for the same exact reasons I do.
I'm mainly just fascinated with the aspect of how The Biggest Loser contestants have all gotten to the point where they are at the start of the show. After watching the background pieces on each person, you'll find some with food addictions, or some with a hardship they couldn't get over in their past, for others they simply "let themselves go".
On the news, they continually report on the obesity problem in America for adults and children. I will admit, that before I really started watching the show, I wasn't aware of how big this problem apparently is. See, I live in a very fit community. It's a beachtown, which has a lot to do with people's incentive for staying in shape. But more than that, it is an active community where people stay socially involved by staying fit. Whether we see our acquaintances at the gym, a pilates class, playing a sport, or jogging on one of the many trails in town, it seems to be the primary and socially acceptable way to meet people and gain friends in town. It's as though your exercise agenda adds credibility to your character. It's amazing how many times I've heard "oh she runs half-marathons", or "she goes to the pilates studio", or "he goes to the crosstraining gym". A big part of conversations with friends, co-workers, acquaintances is our workout schedule. Just ask my husband, having moved here only three years ago, he has more friends than I do, and 90% of them he met by seeing them daily at the gym. Therefore, living in my small and somewhat vain community has put blinders on me, as to what a big part of America looks like. I apologize for that. On the upside, it provides me with a plethora of exercise partners who are all working for the same healthy goals, and thus eliminating a great deal of temptation that middle-America may face.
The other part of my fascination stems from my compassionate side. I can understand the difficulties each contestant faced during their lives, that led them down the unhealthy path they are on. Then my excitement builds each week as I see these people shed pounds, add strength and gain confidence. Ultimately, I just like to see people improve their lives and themselves. Watching this, drives me to improve my own health and strength. So when my trainer starts telling me to "push through the pain", I find some hidden inner strength to complete this tortuous action. The result is that I've steadily gotten stronger every week since the birth of my baby. Woo Hoo to that!
So thank you Biggest Loser for those "last chance workouts".
http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A life more organized ~jennifer
Yikes! I've been running around like the proverbial chicken with her head cut off; each day, just aimlessly accomplishing (or not accomplishing) tasks and feeling little sense of completion. Well, my friends, the thousands I spent on my business coach back in the career days are not a complete waste because I pulled out the old dry erase board, listed my priorities in life using the "5 spheres" and have it right in the open to see. My goal is to complete 1 thing in each sphere each day. Today I have reached this goal, even though it is 4:20pm and I haven't showered yet.
The spheres are Spiritual, Family, Business(which is my home), Personal, Financial.
I'm praying in the morning again, which always helps the day go by a bit better. And I'm feeling pretty good, although a bit stinky because I DID make it to the gym (check for the Personal sphere.) If baby girl wasn't napping on the couch, I'd go scrub up.
Tata for now!
The spheres are Spiritual, Family, Business(which is my home), Personal, Financial.
I'm praying in the morning again, which always helps the day go by a bit better. And I'm feeling pretty good, although a bit stinky because I DID make it to the gym (check for the Personal sphere.) If baby girl wasn't napping on the couch, I'd go scrub up.
Tata for now!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Can We Truly Have It All? ~ Eva
As modern women, we put so much pressure on ourselves to "have it all". This simple three word phrase can pack a powerful punch to our stress levels as we try to achieve this status. Most women have a preconceived notion of what exactly 'having it all' means to her. My idea of having it all includes the loving marriage, the beautiful family, the svelte body, and the successful career. That seems attainable, right? Well, in my experience, when you are working hard on one or two of the factors, then one of the others suffer. I've met high-powered women who don't get to see their children as often as they like, due to the demands of their career. Or the women who chase their career and never have time to meet a man, or get to the gym. In my case, it has been my career that suffered.
I still remember heading off to college with big dreams of living in a big city like New York or Chicago or San Francisco, working at my glamorous job in fashion marketing and meeting my stylish girlfriends for lunch at trendy cafe`s, as though I was in a scene from Sex and The City. Somewhere along the way, my focus shifted toward boys, relationships, and the idea of the beautiful family life. I have, at least, managed to successfully stay in shape over the past decade.
If only I could have devoted some of that energy toward my career goals. It's not like I haven't worked and had good jobs in my chosen field of marketing, but how glamorous of a job can you get in a smallish city? And I should point out, that they have merely been good jobs and not the high-powered, high-salaried marketing positions I ultimately envisioned myself having. I look around at some of my friends, many of whom are successful attorneys, or I look at my SIL whom has a successful and well paid sales career in fashion in San Fran, and I start to feel inadequate. Why didn't I go to law or med school? Or more realistically, I begin thinking about the opportunities to move to a city that I passed on, or how I left the PR job at a big firm in a bigger city because I felt the need to be closer to my ex-fiance`, and the next thing that comes to mind is what would my career look like now? First of all, maybe I would still have a job right now instead of being laid-off like my current situation (and many previous situations). Also, my financial security and independence would be in a much higher bracket. My friends who can purchase the BMW of their choice, take that trip to Hawaii on short notice, or buy those pretty Manolos, and all on their own paychecks, can at times strike a twinge of envy in me. Not because I'm envious of their items, but because they were able to make large ticket purchases from their own earnings and I feel that I should be able to do the same. Sure I've always been able to pay my own bills, but my earnings only allow me to buy discount designer items on ebay or a year's worth of saving to take that trip to the Caribbean.
On the other hand, what I finally ended up getting, means so much more to me than financial success. I got the devoted husband and the beautiful baby, all in a gorgeous seaside town. No, I may not be driving a German vehicle, or briskly walking by designer stores and trendy cafes on my way to work, but I got in life, the very things that these women are lacking and some of them are now wanting. . . I get to kiss my smiling baby every morning, easily drive on streets without traffic to the nearest Starbucks and Target, go jogging on the beach, boating in the summer, and have a handyman on retainer (a.k.a. my husband). As I mentioned in a previous blog, these are the aspects in life that mattered most to me. It's not to say that I still don't want the big career, but something had to give - and I refuse to sacrifice the blessings I did receive.
I still remember heading off to college with big dreams of living in a big city like New York or Chicago or San Francisco, working at my glamorous job in fashion marketing and meeting my stylish girlfriends for lunch at trendy cafe`s, as though I was in a scene from Sex and The City. Somewhere along the way, my focus shifted toward boys, relationships, and the idea of the beautiful family life. I have, at least, managed to successfully stay in shape over the past decade.
If only I could have devoted some of that energy toward my career goals. It's not like I haven't worked and had good jobs in my chosen field of marketing, but how glamorous of a job can you get in a smallish city? And I should point out, that they have merely been good jobs and not the high-powered, high-salaried marketing positions I ultimately envisioned myself having. I look around at some of my friends, many of whom are successful attorneys, or I look at my SIL whom has a successful and well paid sales career in fashion in San Fran, and I start to feel inadequate. Why didn't I go to law or med school? Or more realistically, I begin thinking about the opportunities to move to a city that I passed on, or how I left the PR job at a big firm in a bigger city because I felt the need to be closer to my ex-fiance`, and the next thing that comes to mind is what would my career look like now? First of all, maybe I would still have a job right now instead of being laid-off like my current situation (and many previous situations). Also, my financial security and independence would be in a much higher bracket. My friends who can purchase the BMW of their choice, take that trip to Hawaii on short notice, or buy those pretty Manolos, and all on their own paychecks, can at times strike a twinge of envy in me. Not because I'm envious of their items, but because they were able to make large ticket purchases from their own earnings and I feel that I should be able to do the same. Sure I've always been able to pay my own bills, but my earnings only allow me to buy discount designer items on ebay or a year's worth of saving to take that trip to the Caribbean.
On the other hand, what I finally ended up getting, means so much more to me than financial success. I got the devoted husband and the beautiful baby, all in a gorgeous seaside town. No, I may not be driving a German vehicle, or briskly walking by designer stores and trendy cafes on my way to work, but I got in life, the very things that these women are lacking and some of them are now wanting. . . I get to kiss my smiling baby every morning, easily drive on streets without traffic to the nearest Starbucks and Target, go jogging on the beach, boating in the summer, and have a handyman on retainer (a.k.a. my husband). As I mentioned in a previous blog, these are the aspects in life that mattered most to me. It's not to say that I still don't want the big career, but something had to give - and I refuse to sacrifice the blessings I did receive.
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