The Non-Lazy Husband

Yes, I'm still avidly watching the Biggest Loser. The only reason I missed a few episodes was due to the dang ACC rival games that took over that valued time slot on a few Tuesday evenings. That is the South for ya. Needless to say, I was annoyed that I had to read about my show online, instead of getting to watch the drama unfold for myself. My husband finds my obsession with this show very strange - and I suppose it is. First of all, I'm not a big Reality TV lover. I have friends who love 'Dancing With the Stars', 'American Idol', 'Amazing Race', 'Survivor', 'The Bachelor', and even the raunchy ones such as 'Rock of Love', 'The Hills' (which I don't consider reality tv), 'Keeping up with the Kardashians', 'Real Housewives of OC', and the list goes on. I'm lucky if I catch one or two of those episodes a season. They never capture my attention long enough. However, I will admit to sometimes watching the family reality shows on TLC featuring The Gosselins, The Duggars, and The Roloffs.

So what is it about this weight loss show that has me hooked? I'm still trying to figure that out. What I do know, is that your husband truly loves you when he will sit through a show he loathes, simply because you love it. Each week on Tuesday, he will tell our baby "mommy's show is on tonight, so we won't get a movie". Then he will set the timer on the TV for me, so it will automatically switch to The Biggest Loser at 8pm. He may not be a man of many romantic words or gestures, but this is one of his ways of showing his love for me. I do not take that for granted. I can see the pain on his face during each episode as he watches the contestants give up on their challenges, or complain about how hard the workouts are, or talk about how much food they ate before they got to the ranch. As loving, generous, and thoughtful as my husband is, he is also slightly prejudice about obese people. Not because he thinks they are less than him or anyone else, but because he is the opposite of lazy. Therefore, he cannot comprehend how any person could ever get to the point of obesity.

His pet peeve is laziness. I'm even subjected to it when I don't push my dresser drawers in all the way, and he comes in behind me to "clean up the mess". You can say he is slightly anal. He likes his home, his body and his clothes to look appealing at all times. On the upside, I NEVER, EVER have to nag him about anything. I hear women talking about how they have to nag their husbands to do projects around the home, or clean up, or take out the trash. Not my guy. He does the laundry before I have a chance to, he washes the sheets faithfully every Friday morning, he puts the dishes away before I'm even finished with my drink, and I've never seen the garbage to point of overflowing. As far as projects go, I can just do something as little as picking out a paint swatch, and the next day the room will be painted. That is exactly what happened for our baby's nursery, the kitchen, the bathroom and the dining room (which is done in a beautiful Tuscan faux finish). Most recently, we were re-organizing our home one Saturday and I opened up my closet and mentioned to my husband how (at some point) I wanted to add some more usable space to it. Next thing I know, he said "clean out your closet", as he himself is taking piles of clothes from my closet and throwing them on the bed. In less than an hour, he had added extra racks for me to fit more clothes and I now I have a more organized closet. Some of my friends have joked how it must be hard for me to live with him and his "anal tendencies". My reply is that the alternative is hell and this is heaven for me. I know, I've lived it.

What seems like a lifetime ago, when I was young and naive and stupid, I married a very nice, romantic boy from a wealthy Greek family. It was one of those situations where we had been dating for a while and engagement seemed like the logical next step. At the time, I thought this life was perfect for me. Then, after we moved into our first home, which his parents bought for us, I soon realized that was not at all the life or type of husband I wanted. He was L A Z Y. He NEVER cleaned and was the type of guy to leave his dirty socks lying around. That's a Greek family for you- they don't teach their boys how to take care of themselves. I would come home from a two-day business trip to a sink full of dirty dishes, that I would have to put away before I felt comfortable enough to unpack and go to sleep. If anything in the home needed repairing, he would call his father to come fix it. I would have to constantly nag him to take out the garbage, pick up his dirty clothes, or simply get his butt off the couch and take me out to dinner or a movie or just walk around the neighborhood. Needless to say, any painting or small cosmetic changes around the house were solely left up to me (except on the times when he would ask his mother's opinion for which color we should go with). After two years of that, I was exhausted. I realized that I don't have the energy to stand behind any man with a cattle-prod, just so he will actually take out the garbage before the rats come in for a feast. I knew that being in a relationship like that would mean a lifetime of arguments for me.

I got out of that lazy and dull marriage, having learned a lot about myself in the process. I knew that I didn't want to have children with a man that I could foresee myself being miserable with down the road. I knew that I wanted to have children with a man that I loved unconditionally and complimented each other's strengths and weaknesses. As badly as I wanted children, I knew that I wanted to wait until I could bring them into a relationship that was strong, loving, fun and not dancing with the idea of divorce before they are even born. That part is key, because I've seen many women fall into that "family plan" only to end up divorced with kids in the mix. Primarily, I realized that I wanted the father of my children to have the type of character traits that I wanted to be instilled in my children. In this case, someone who was self-motivated, disciplined, and hard-working in all aspects of his life.

So, when my husband throws out a couple snide yet sarcastic remarks about the lazier contestants on The Biggest Loser, or about how I fail to push my underwear drawer in all the way so it is flush with the dresser, I don't get irritated or even take it personally. Instead, I appreciate the non-lazy man he is, while confident that I can throw away that old cattle-prod.

To the women out there who think it's annoying to live with an anal man such as my husband, all I can say is: Have fun picking up those dirty socks and putting down the toilet seat every day. I'm doing just fine watching my husband fold the laundry, while I catch an episode of The Biggest Loser.