I've been a bit MIA from Sister City lately and I miss you, my friends. With planning the big 1 year old birthday party for Miss A and balancing life, I've had a hard time gathering my thoughts into any cohesive post that someone might feel like reading when I have a moment to sit at the computer! Tonight the topic of sex as a new parent seemed appropriate since I seem to have a different perspective than my husband.
You see, I feel like we "do it" pretty regularly (well, compared to other married couples I guess, but not compared to our pre-baby life, naturally.) You see, it's hard to say really, because people always say they're "Getting it" or complain that they're not, without really putting any emphasis on the frequency and what it really means. Well, for us, currently it's at least once a week now and sometimes about 3 times a week but probably not any more than that. So yeh, comparing it to the 3 times a day that wasn't unusual in the beginning of our relationship, it's not much. But now after a few days, Big Daddy claims to forget the last time he got laid because it's been "so long". Take tonight for instance. I know it sounds ridiculous, but tonight was literally the first time we had a chance since last Wednesday. My parents were in town and getting busy in the office after the baby fell asleep in our room with the woman who gave birth to me down the hall wasn't exactly the biggest turn on. Not to mention my stomach bug and general lethargy from party planning and entertaining. He thought the last time we did it was a month ago. I really believe that he thought that.
So why is it that days without sex are like dog years for men? How can a woman who is utterly exhausted from the 24/7 job of childhood still desire sex with the same enthusiasm as she did prior to becoming a Mom? Is it possible? And am I a stingy bitch of a wife for only putting out once or twice a week?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
New Life, New Friends
Last night was one of the rare occasions when I was able to enjoy a girls' night. Only this time, I was out with my "new" friends, instead of the girls whom I always considered my closest friends in town. For several years now, I have been friends with a handful of girls that are all smart, independent, successful, career driven, and so much fun. We were always orchestrating group get-togethers, whether it was for a holiday, a birthday, a night out partying, dinner, a community event, or an after work glass of wine. We were the type of girls that wrote group emails and text messages, and talked daily. I would guess that we would see each other at least 3 times a week. Most importantly, we always had fun.
Well, that was then and this is now. I honestly believed while I was pregnant, that after my baby arrived, we would all still be hanging out in our group like the girls on Sex in the City. Miranda did it with a kid, why can't I? The reality is that as my pregnancy progressed, the invitations wore thin. Soon after I had my baby, and my friends came to see this new little bundle for the first time, there was never a second visit. Yes its true, all my "friends" in town have yet to see the adorable baby my 5 month old son has grown into. I do on occasion get the rare invitation to join in some event with my girls. However, there is always some time, money, or child care restriction for me, and thus I'm never able to attend. Not once, has any of them suggested any dinner, lunch, coffee, or outdoor gathering where I would be able to bring both myself and my baby. I suppose its because they are all still in the single and loving it mode, and can't be bothered to be dragged down by any drooling tot and its proud mother.
Not all was lost in the friend department though, I do see one of my oldest girlfriends quite regularly. Primarily because she also has a little boy who is now 14 months old. So we decided to join a "mom's group" together and picked one with younger aged children, like our own. The first couple events I went to were at the park where all the little ones could play and mommy's could chat. Always fun for me and worth it for the little guy to get some of that restless energy out. Conversations always run around the children's ages, names, stages, etc. What else do you have to talk about when you become a mother? Last night's event was strictly for mommy's only. The setting was a fondue restaurant and the conversations were basically the same. All about our kids and pregnancies. The only difference this time, was that it was accompanied by a glass of wine and not interrupted by a wriggling baby. It was, one of the best nights out I have had since little man arrived. No pressure to stay abrest of the latest celebrity gossip, or in-town gossip, and no pressure to make sure I don't over-step my quota on "mommy talk". I basically limit that to only answer questions about the baby when asked, and never to start a conversation with "my baby....". It was simply nice to share conversations with women who are all going through the exact same thing. In fact, one of the pregnant women has the exact same high-risk syndrome that I had.
Does having a baby mean losing friends? I truly believed that would never happen to me, but here I am in the thick of it. Early on I was slightly angry about it. However, now I am accepting of the change. I realize that my "old" friends are a little self-absorbed into their own lives, which I perfectly understand. It doesn't mean I love them any less. It just signifies the fact that in the real world, when people are in varying stages of life then contact between them dimishes. Although it does make it easier to swallow when one of the friends from the "old group" tells you that "we are all jealous of your life. You're the one who's doing something, we are the ones doing nothing new. Don't ever feel like you're missing out on anything."
I knew then, that I didn't lose any friends, I just have to add new ones who are in the same mommy stage. I'm sure the old ones will join me again once they get here.
Well, that was then and this is now. I honestly believed while I was pregnant, that after my baby arrived, we would all still be hanging out in our group like the girls on Sex in the City. Miranda did it with a kid, why can't I? The reality is that as my pregnancy progressed, the invitations wore thin. Soon after I had my baby, and my friends came to see this new little bundle for the first time, there was never a second visit. Yes its true, all my "friends" in town have yet to see the adorable baby my 5 month old son has grown into. I do on occasion get the rare invitation to join in some event with my girls. However, there is always some time, money, or child care restriction for me, and thus I'm never able to attend. Not once, has any of them suggested any dinner, lunch, coffee, or outdoor gathering where I would be able to bring both myself and my baby. I suppose its because they are all still in the single and loving it mode, and can't be bothered to be dragged down by any drooling tot and its proud mother.
Not all was lost in the friend department though, I do see one of my oldest girlfriends quite regularly. Primarily because she also has a little boy who is now 14 months old. So we decided to join a "mom's group" together and picked one with younger aged children, like our own. The first couple events I went to were at the park where all the little ones could play and mommy's could chat. Always fun for me and worth it for the little guy to get some of that restless energy out. Conversations always run around the children's ages, names, stages, etc. What else do you have to talk about when you become a mother? Last night's event was strictly for mommy's only. The setting was a fondue restaurant and the conversations were basically the same. All about our kids and pregnancies. The only difference this time, was that it was accompanied by a glass of wine and not interrupted by a wriggling baby. It was, one of the best nights out I have had since little man arrived. No pressure to stay abrest of the latest celebrity gossip, or in-town gossip, and no pressure to make sure I don't over-step my quota on "mommy talk". I basically limit that to only answer questions about the baby when asked, and never to start a conversation with "my baby....". It was simply nice to share conversations with women who are all going through the exact same thing. In fact, one of the pregnant women has the exact same high-risk syndrome that I had.
Does having a baby mean losing friends? I truly believed that would never happen to me, but here I am in the thick of it. Early on I was slightly angry about it. However, now I am accepting of the change. I realize that my "old" friends are a little self-absorbed into their own lives, which I perfectly understand. It doesn't mean I love them any less. It just signifies the fact that in the real world, when people are in varying stages of life then contact between them dimishes. Although it does make it easier to swallow when one of the friends from the "old group" tells you that "we are all jealous of your life. You're the one who's doing something, we are the ones doing nothing new. Don't ever feel like you're missing out on anything."
I knew then, that I didn't lose any friends, I just have to add new ones who are in the same mommy stage. I'm sure the old ones will join me again once they get here.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
How I Did It... For the Realistic Mom
Lately, I've been asked a certain question enough times to decide to write about it. The question is "how did you do it?". For the past few weeks, friends, acquaintances and other mothers I have just met, have given me generous but genuine compliments on my figure, immediately followed by this certain question. Given the fact that I just had my baby 4 1/2 months ago, that is the only reason for the compliments and the curiosity. I am both appreciative and proud of the questions/compliments I receive and therefore, want to divulge my "get that body back" tips.
Before my pregnancy, I always imagined myself being one of those women who stayed slim except her bulging belly. I had visions of myself jogging, going to the gym regularly, eating only the healthiest foods, and staying as fit as I always have been. Halfway through my pregnancy, reality set in. I admit I was one of the lucky women who did not fight boughts of nausea on a daily basis, thank goodness. However, at the end of my first trimester, I did go through a month of the worst migraines I've ever experienced, that would last from the time I woke up until bedtime. They basically left me bedridden and holed up in dark room, mainly because I could not take any medicine at that point in the pregnancy for baby's health. My second trimester was wonderful. I felt great and had energy and used that time wisely because I knew it wouldn't last long. Everyday, I would go walking and do some yoga at home. Due to my high-risk pregnancy, I was not allowed to run or engage in any exercise that would raise my heart rate up too much. So, walking and yoga it was. My third trimester was misery. Since I live in the South, it was extremely hot and humid, therefore making me swell to enormous proportions, which made it far too uncomfortable to do any walking outside. I would simply do what I could, when I could. I was surely not a healthy eater due to my uncontrollable chocolate cravings, which forced me to eat a chocolate chip cookie, from the local bakery, every single day until I gave birth. On the other hand, I never overdid it. Moderation is key.
The end result was that I gained somewhere around 38 to 40 pounds, and gave birth 2 weeks early to a baby that was over 8 lbs. I believe my pregnancy information is important to tell, so you understand that I was certainly no supermodel who only gained 15 lbs and immediately lost it all during the delivery.
My goal has always been to get back down to my "dating weight". Not the size I was at before my pregnancy, but the svelte size I was (back in the day) when I had the prowess to capture handsome, virile men like my husband. Not that it's the men I'm after now, I just simply want to get back into my teeny True Religion jeans because I can't afford to buy new designer jeans. With the economy and all, it makes sense, right? Very close to fitting into those sexy little jeans and feeling great about it. Currently, I'm somewhere between my pre-pregnancy size and my "dating weight", which I call my "cougar-fighting weight". It's the size that makes me feel confident enough to fight off the "cougars" that attack my husband when we do venture out together.
I was never scared that I wouldn't lose the weight, because I have always been determined to keep my body in shape. I was only frustrated with the slow start because I had no idea how difficult the healing process would be. I also had no idea how little strength I would have after the pregnancy - you simply no longer have abs. They somehow get wiped away and you have to work hard to recreate them. When you are an impatient gal like me, then slow equals frustration.
So here is how to do it when you are a stay at home (or a working) mom on a budget. No celebrity paychecks here to afford the fancy chefs, nannies, and expensive daily trainers. The key to this entire equation is to primarily get moving. Nothing is going to happen if you don't work for it.
As anyone knows, after a C-section, you are in a great deal of pain and have to be very careful about the stitching. Therefore, you cannot use your abs. However, you will heal faster if you get up and get moving. While in the hospital I would walk constantly, despite the pain. When I got home, I would venture out in the neighborhood, challenging myself to walk a little farther every day. Two weeks after delivery, I was able to walk the 2 mile loop near the beach with my husband, whom was pushing the stroller. This led to me walking everyday that weather permitted, at least 2 miles, while pushing a baby stroller. The other important thing I did was get a big exercise ball - a size that is perfect for you to sit on. Instead of rocking the baby in a chair (which he didn't like anyway), I would hold him and bounce on the ball. I did this for hours a day while watching TV, and the best part is that it entertains the baby and provides great bonding for you both. Just the simple action of balancing on the ball and bouncing will strengthen your core in a safe way, so that when the incision heals, your core is strong enough to move on to more advanced ab work. I continue to bounce on the ball with the baby, daily. He loves it, and I know that I'm burning more calories than I would if I was sitting on the couch. Another significant factor is that I have breastfed my baby and still am breastfeeding. For women out there who may not know this, breastfeeding helps to shrink your uterus back to its normal size. Another one of God's blessings.
Six weeks after the delivery, I was ready to start working out again. I knew that solely going to the gym to do cardio and weights wouldn't work for me because I did not have the motivation to push myself. I found an incredible trainer who is both affordable and focuses on post-partum bodies. Since I am laid off and living off of unemployment right now, I had to be financially smart about all my exercise choices. As you may know, a good trainer will charge upwards of $60/hr. Totally out of my budget. This particular trainer caters to women on a budget by setting up group sessions of 3 to 4 women who each pay $20 for the hour. The hour-long workout consists only of circuit cross-training, which includes rounds of 4 minutes of cardio, then 4 minutes of strength, then 1 minute of abs. All the exercises she has us do, work multiple muscle groups to be the most effective. Same workout and results as a private session, but a fourth of the cost. If you don't know of a particular trainer who works this way, then you should suggest this idea to a trainer you like. They still get the same amount of pay for their work.
Since I don't have any relatives in town, and can't afford a babysitter to go and workout, my husband will watch the baby for an hour every Monday while I'm on my sanity break. This one hour to myself for hard-core exercise, is truly the best $20 a week I have ever invested. It not only allows me time away from the baby, it energizes and motivates me to exercise all week, and also provides some much needed fellow shipping with other women who are in the same boat. After each workout, I'm refreshed, missing my baby, and confident. All of which makes me a better mother. So to the mothers out there who give themselves to many negative reasons why they can't or shouldn't get to the gym at least once a week, you simply NEED it. So do it for your baby.
On a lucky week when my husband, who happens to do sales and works from our home office on occasion, is able to watch the baby, then I try to attend 1 or 2 pilates classes a week. If you do live near relatives who adore your baby and want to watch him for free, then take advantage of that and use that time to get to the gym. Once my baby reaches 6 months old, I will no longer have this problem for he will be old enough to attend the free day-care that my gym provides. That is in 5 weeks and counting. On an unlucky week, which is most of them, then I will try to do the sames exercises that we do in training or in pilates, at home. While the baby is laying down on his play mat, or in his jumparoo, I will set a goal of doing activity through an entire 30 minute TV show. The exercises consist of anything from lunge leg lifts, squat and side leg lifts, to push ups and planks, to cheerleading kicks. The best part is that my baby is entertained by watching mommy jump around like a buffoon. Who knew that my exercise could provide such great stimulation for Little Man?
Again, the key here is to just get moving. Even the simplest exercises several times a day are better than doing nothing at all. There are many days when I try to give myself excuses for not walking the 2 1/2 mile loop or going to pilates, i.e. it's too cold outside for the baby, I'm too tired, etc. On those days, I will do something but maybe in a smaller portion. For example, if I feel it's too cold or windy to walk down by the beach, then I will take a walk around our neighborhood which is always much warmer due to the wind being blocked. It may only be a mile long walk, but it's still better than if I did nothing at all. Another trick I have done since day one, is to not use a stroller or his car seat when I go shopping. I always put him in the sling when he was newborn and small, and now I use the Baby Bjorn when I go to Target, Sam's Club, the grocery store, Barnes and Noble, you name it. It's far more work to carry the baby on your body than to push a cart with him in it.
As for my diet, I don't have one. I'm not a diet-following kind of girl. I don't like depriving myself of cravings because for me, it builds up and one day I go crazy. Like eating an entire bag of Doritos during an Oprah episode. Just like Katie Holmes, I love my sugar and my cravings usually revolve around baked goods. So if I feel like eating a chocolate chip cookie or a cupcake, I will indulge myself. That always satisfies me, and I end it after one. Since my husband and I are dinner people, my breakfast and lunch are small but filling, and I save the biggest meal for last. This may not be what the experts tell you to do, but you have to do what works for your lifestyle and this is what works for mine. I enjoy cooking and have found many ways to make meals healthier by adding vegetables and cutting out the fatty stuff, and all on a tight budget. For a snack mid-day, I will make myself either a small salad or a strawberry smoothie. This does double duty by satisfying my hunger and making sure I get my daily intake of fruits or veggies. My one and only rule for my diet is that I NEVER EVER eat fast food. That is the worst thing you can ever do for yourself and it just makes your body feel like crap. Oh, mainly because there are absolutely NO nutrients in any of it. If I'm ever away from the house and getting hungry, but can't afford a healthy restaurant lunch, then I stop at a Starbucks and get a tall, non-fat latte. That is my coffee drink of choice. Tall is the smallest size, a shot of espresso has less caffeine than a regular size coffee, and the skim milk has almost no calories. The entire drink is only 60 calories and I do not add any sugar or flavored syrup to it. If I'm going to have sugar, then I save it for my sweet treat - a chocolate chip cookie. Between the milk froth and the caffeine, my hunger subsides until I can get home and eat something of substance. As for eating out, I will either share a meal with my husband or bring food home in a to-go box. My whole train of thought is portion control. Learn to know when your body is full. No person needs to eat an entire plate of pasta and bread in one sitting. That is called "exceeding the feed limit" and that is how people get fat. No gimicky diets needed as long as you burn more calories than you take it. It's as simple as that.
The results have been incredible. In four months, the weight has melted off without me having to work as hard at it as I initially thought. The training and the pilates have shaped, toned and tightened all those soft spots, and walking with a stroller is amazing cardio. As long as I kept moving in any way that I had time for, then each week I got a little slimmer. Now, I'm smaller than I was right before I got preggers, and on my way to a size 26 in True Religion language.
I know there are so many reasons we give ourselves for not being able to do something, whether it's time, or money, or energy. Don't listen to your nay-saying self. My advice to all the women out there trying to get their bodies back: Push through the pain.
Before my pregnancy, I always imagined myself being one of those women who stayed slim except her bulging belly. I had visions of myself jogging, going to the gym regularly, eating only the healthiest foods, and staying as fit as I always have been. Halfway through my pregnancy, reality set in. I admit I was one of the lucky women who did not fight boughts of nausea on a daily basis, thank goodness. However, at the end of my first trimester, I did go through a month of the worst migraines I've ever experienced, that would last from the time I woke up until bedtime. They basically left me bedridden and holed up in dark room, mainly because I could not take any medicine at that point in the pregnancy for baby's health. My second trimester was wonderful. I felt great and had energy and used that time wisely because I knew it wouldn't last long. Everyday, I would go walking and do some yoga at home. Due to my high-risk pregnancy, I was not allowed to run or engage in any exercise that would raise my heart rate up too much. So, walking and yoga it was. My third trimester was misery. Since I live in the South, it was extremely hot and humid, therefore making me swell to enormous proportions, which made it far too uncomfortable to do any walking outside. I would simply do what I could, when I could. I was surely not a healthy eater due to my uncontrollable chocolate cravings, which forced me to eat a chocolate chip cookie, from the local bakery, every single day until I gave birth. On the other hand, I never overdid it. Moderation is key.
The end result was that I gained somewhere around 38 to 40 pounds, and gave birth 2 weeks early to a baby that was over 8 lbs. I believe my pregnancy information is important to tell, so you understand that I was certainly no supermodel who only gained 15 lbs and immediately lost it all during the delivery.
My goal has always been to get back down to my "dating weight". Not the size I was at before my pregnancy, but the svelte size I was (back in the day) when I had the prowess to capture handsome, virile men like my husband. Not that it's the men I'm after now, I just simply want to get back into my teeny True Religion jeans because I can't afford to buy new designer jeans. With the economy and all, it makes sense, right? Very close to fitting into those sexy little jeans and feeling great about it. Currently, I'm somewhere between my pre-pregnancy size and my "dating weight", which I call my "cougar-fighting weight". It's the size that makes me feel confident enough to fight off the "cougars" that attack my husband when we do venture out together.
I was never scared that I wouldn't lose the weight, because I have always been determined to keep my body in shape. I was only frustrated with the slow start because I had no idea how difficult the healing process would be. I also had no idea how little strength I would have after the pregnancy - you simply no longer have abs. They somehow get wiped away and you have to work hard to recreate them. When you are an impatient gal like me, then slow equals frustration.
So here is how to do it when you are a stay at home (or a working) mom on a budget. No celebrity paychecks here to afford the fancy chefs, nannies, and expensive daily trainers. The key to this entire equation is to primarily get moving. Nothing is going to happen if you don't work for it.
As anyone knows, after a C-section, you are in a great deal of pain and have to be very careful about the stitching. Therefore, you cannot use your abs. However, you will heal faster if you get up and get moving. While in the hospital I would walk constantly, despite the pain. When I got home, I would venture out in the neighborhood, challenging myself to walk a little farther every day. Two weeks after delivery, I was able to walk the 2 mile loop near the beach with my husband, whom was pushing the stroller. This led to me walking everyday that weather permitted, at least 2 miles, while pushing a baby stroller. The other important thing I did was get a big exercise ball - a size that is perfect for you to sit on. Instead of rocking the baby in a chair (which he didn't like anyway), I would hold him and bounce on the ball. I did this for hours a day while watching TV, and the best part is that it entertains the baby and provides great bonding for you both. Just the simple action of balancing on the ball and bouncing will strengthen your core in a safe way, so that when the incision heals, your core is strong enough to move on to more advanced ab work. I continue to bounce on the ball with the baby, daily. He loves it, and I know that I'm burning more calories than I would if I was sitting on the couch. Another significant factor is that I have breastfed my baby and still am breastfeeding. For women out there who may not know this, breastfeeding helps to shrink your uterus back to its normal size. Another one of God's blessings.
Six weeks after the delivery, I was ready to start working out again. I knew that solely going to the gym to do cardio and weights wouldn't work for me because I did not have the motivation to push myself. I found an incredible trainer who is both affordable and focuses on post-partum bodies. Since I am laid off and living off of unemployment right now, I had to be financially smart about all my exercise choices. As you may know, a good trainer will charge upwards of $60/hr. Totally out of my budget. This particular trainer caters to women on a budget by setting up group sessions of 3 to 4 women who each pay $20 for the hour. The hour-long workout consists only of circuit cross-training, which includes rounds of 4 minutes of cardio, then 4 minutes of strength, then 1 minute of abs. All the exercises she has us do, work multiple muscle groups to be the most effective. Same workout and results as a private session, but a fourth of the cost. If you don't know of a particular trainer who works this way, then you should suggest this idea to a trainer you like. They still get the same amount of pay for their work.
Since I don't have any relatives in town, and can't afford a babysitter to go and workout, my husband will watch the baby for an hour every Monday while I'm on my sanity break. This one hour to myself for hard-core exercise, is truly the best $20 a week I have ever invested. It not only allows me time away from the baby, it energizes and motivates me to exercise all week, and also provides some much needed fellow shipping with other women who are in the same boat. After each workout, I'm refreshed, missing my baby, and confident. All of which makes me a better mother. So to the mothers out there who give themselves to many negative reasons why they can't or shouldn't get to the gym at least once a week, you simply NEED it. So do it for your baby.
On a lucky week when my husband, who happens to do sales and works from our home office on occasion, is able to watch the baby, then I try to attend 1 or 2 pilates classes a week. If you do live near relatives who adore your baby and want to watch him for free, then take advantage of that and use that time to get to the gym. Once my baby reaches 6 months old, I will no longer have this problem for he will be old enough to attend the free day-care that my gym provides. That is in 5 weeks and counting. On an unlucky week, which is most of them, then I will try to do the sames exercises that we do in training or in pilates, at home. While the baby is laying down on his play mat, or in his jumparoo, I will set a goal of doing activity through an entire 30 minute TV show. The exercises consist of anything from lunge leg lifts, squat and side leg lifts, to push ups and planks, to cheerleading kicks. The best part is that my baby is entertained by watching mommy jump around like a buffoon. Who knew that my exercise could provide such great stimulation for Little Man?
Again, the key here is to just get moving. Even the simplest exercises several times a day are better than doing nothing at all. There are many days when I try to give myself excuses for not walking the 2 1/2 mile loop or going to pilates, i.e. it's too cold outside for the baby, I'm too tired, etc. On those days, I will do something but maybe in a smaller portion. For example, if I feel it's too cold or windy to walk down by the beach, then I will take a walk around our neighborhood which is always much warmer due to the wind being blocked. It may only be a mile long walk, but it's still better than if I did nothing at all. Another trick I have done since day one, is to not use a stroller or his car seat when I go shopping. I always put him in the sling when he was newborn and small, and now I use the Baby Bjorn when I go to Target, Sam's Club, the grocery store, Barnes and Noble, you name it. It's far more work to carry the baby on your body than to push a cart with him in it.
As for my diet, I don't have one. I'm not a diet-following kind of girl. I don't like depriving myself of cravings because for me, it builds up and one day I go crazy. Like eating an entire bag of Doritos during an Oprah episode. Just like Katie Holmes, I love my sugar and my cravings usually revolve around baked goods. So if I feel like eating a chocolate chip cookie or a cupcake, I will indulge myself. That always satisfies me, and I end it after one. Since my husband and I are dinner people, my breakfast and lunch are small but filling, and I save the biggest meal for last. This may not be what the experts tell you to do, but you have to do what works for your lifestyle and this is what works for mine. I enjoy cooking and have found many ways to make meals healthier by adding vegetables and cutting out the fatty stuff, and all on a tight budget. For a snack mid-day, I will make myself either a small salad or a strawberry smoothie. This does double duty by satisfying my hunger and making sure I get my daily intake of fruits or veggies. My one and only rule for my diet is that I NEVER EVER eat fast food. That is the worst thing you can ever do for yourself and it just makes your body feel like crap. Oh, mainly because there are absolutely NO nutrients in any of it. If I'm ever away from the house and getting hungry, but can't afford a healthy restaurant lunch, then I stop at a Starbucks and get a tall, non-fat latte. That is my coffee drink of choice. Tall is the smallest size, a shot of espresso has less caffeine than a regular size coffee, and the skim milk has almost no calories. The entire drink is only 60 calories and I do not add any sugar or flavored syrup to it. If I'm going to have sugar, then I save it for my sweet treat - a chocolate chip cookie. Between the milk froth and the caffeine, my hunger subsides until I can get home and eat something of substance. As for eating out, I will either share a meal with my husband or bring food home in a to-go box. My whole train of thought is portion control. Learn to know when your body is full. No person needs to eat an entire plate of pasta and bread in one sitting. That is called "exceeding the feed limit" and that is how people get fat. No gimicky diets needed as long as you burn more calories than you take it. It's as simple as that.
The results have been incredible. In four months, the weight has melted off without me having to work as hard at it as I initially thought. The training and the pilates have shaped, toned and tightened all those soft spots, and walking with a stroller is amazing cardio. As long as I kept moving in any way that I had time for, then each week I got a little slimmer. Now, I'm smaller than I was right before I got preggers, and on my way to a size 26 in True Religion language.
I know there are so many reasons we give ourselves for not being able to do something, whether it's time, or money, or energy. Don't listen to your nay-saying self. My advice to all the women out there trying to get their bodies back: Push through the pain.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Non-Lazy Husband
Yes, I'm still avidly watching the Biggest Loser. The only reason I missed a few episodes was due to the dang ACC rival games that took over that valued time slot on a few Tuesday evenings. That is the South for ya. Needless to say, I was annoyed that I had to read about my show online, instead of getting to watch the drama unfold for myself. My husband finds my obsession with this show very strange - and I suppose it is. First of all, I'm not a big Reality TV lover. I have friends who love 'Dancing With the Stars', 'American Idol', 'Amazing Race', 'Survivor', 'The Bachelor', and even the raunchy ones such as 'Rock of Love', 'The Hills' (which I don't consider reality tv), 'Keeping up with the Kardashians', 'Real Housewives of OC', and the list goes on. I'm lucky if I catch one or two of those episodes a season. They never capture my attention long enough. However, I will admit to sometimes watching the family reality shows on TLC featuring The Gosselins, The Duggars, and The Roloffs.
So what is it about this weight loss show that has me hooked? I'm still trying to figure that out. What I do know, is that your husband truly loves you when he will sit through a show he loathes, simply because you love it. Each week on Tuesday, he will tell our baby "mommy's show is on tonight, so we won't get a movie". Then he will set the timer on the TV for me, so it will automatically switch to The Biggest Loser at 8pm. He may not be a man of many romantic words or gestures, but this is one of his ways of showing his love for me. I do not take that for granted. I can see the pain on his face during each episode as he watches the contestants give up on their challenges, or complain about how hard the workouts are, or talk about how much food they ate before they got to the ranch. As loving, generous, and thoughtful as my husband is, he is also slightly prejudice about obese people. Not because he thinks they are less than him or anyone else, but because he is the opposite of lazy. Therefore, he cannot comprehend how any person could ever get to the point of obesity.
His pet peeve is laziness. I'm even subjected to it when I don't push my dresser drawers in all the way, and he comes in behind me to "clean up the mess". You can say he is slightly anal. He likes his home, his body and his clothes to look appealing at all times. On the upside, I NEVER, EVER have to nag him about anything. I hear women talking about how they have to nag their husbands to do projects around the home, or clean up, or take out the trash. Not my guy. He does the laundry before I have a chance to, he washes the sheets faithfully every Friday morning, he puts the dishes away before I'm even finished with my drink, and I've never seen the garbage to point of overflowing. As far as projects go, I can just do something as little as picking out a paint swatch, and the next day the room will be painted. That is exactly what happened for our baby's nursery, the kitchen, the bathroom and the dining room (which is done in a beautiful Tuscan faux finish). Most recently, we were re-organizing our home one Saturday and I opened up my closet and mentioned to my husband how (at some point) I wanted to add some more usable space to it. Next thing I know, he said "clean out your closet", as he himself is taking piles of clothes from my closet and throwing them on the bed. In less than an hour, he had added extra racks for me to fit more clothes and I now I have a more organized closet. Some of my friends have joked how it must be hard for me to live with him and his "anal tendencies". My reply is that the alternative is hell and this is heaven for me. I know, I've lived it.
What seems like a lifetime ago, when I was young and naive and stupid, I married a very nice, romantic boy from a wealthy Greek family. It was one of those situations where we had been dating for a while and engagement seemed like the logical next step. At the time, I thought this life was perfect for me. Then, after we moved into our first home, which his parents bought for us, I soon realized that was not at all the life or type of husband I wanted. He was L A Z Y. He NEVER cleaned and was the type of guy to leave his dirty socks lying around. That's a Greek family for you- they don't teach their boys how to take care of themselves. I would come home from a two-day business trip to a sink full of dirty dishes, that I would have to put away before I felt comfortable enough to unpack and go to sleep. If anything in the home needed repairing, he would call his father to come fix it. I would have to constantly nag him to take out the garbage, pick up his dirty clothes, or simply get his butt off the couch and take me out to dinner or a movie or just walk around the neighborhood. Needless to say, any painting or small cosmetic changes around the house were solely left up to me (except on the times when he would ask his mother's opinion for which color we should go with). After two years of that, I was exhausted. I realized that I don't have the energy to stand behind any man with a cattle-prod, just so he will actually take out the garbage before the rats come in for a feast. I knew that being in a relationship like that would mean a lifetime of arguments for me.
I got out of that lazy and dull marriage, having learned a lot about myself in the process. I knew that I didn't want to have children with a man that I could foresee myself being miserable with down the road. I knew that I wanted to have children with a man that I loved unconditionally and complimented each other's strengths and weaknesses. As badly as I wanted children, I knew that I wanted to wait until I could bring them into a relationship that was strong, loving, fun and not dancing with the idea of divorce before they are even born. That part is key, because I've seen many women fall into that "family plan" only to end up divorced with kids in the mix. Primarily, I realized that I wanted the father of my children to have the type of character traits that I wanted to be instilled in my children. In this case, someone who was self-motivated, disciplined, and hard-working in all aspects of his life.
So, when my husband throws out a couple snide yet sarcastic remarks about the lazier contestants on The Biggest Loser, or about how I fail to push my underwear drawer in all the way so it is flush with the dresser, I don't get irritated or even take it personally. Instead, I appreciate the non-lazy man he is, while confident that I can throw away that old cattle-prod.
To the women out there who think it's annoying to live with an anal man such as my husband, all I can say is: Have fun picking up those dirty socks and putting down the toilet seat every day. I'm doing just fine watching my husband fold the laundry, while I catch an episode of The Biggest Loser.
So what is it about this weight loss show that has me hooked? I'm still trying to figure that out. What I do know, is that your husband truly loves you when he will sit through a show he loathes, simply because you love it. Each week on Tuesday, he will tell our baby "mommy's show is on tonight, so we won't get a movie". Then he will set the timer on the TV for me, so it will automatically switch to The Biggest Loser at 8pm. He may not be a man of many romantic words or gestures, but this is one of his ways of showing his love for me. I do not take that for granted. I can see the pain on his face during each episode as he watches the contestants give up on their challenges, or complain about how hard the workouts are, or talk about how much food they ate before they got to the ranch. As loving, generous, and thoughtful as my husband is, he is also slightly prejudice about obese people. Not because he thinks they are less than him or anyone else, but because he is the opposite of lazy. Therefore, he cannot comprehend how any person could ever get to the point of obesity.
His pet peeve is laziness. I'm even subjected to it when I don't push my dresser drawers in all the way, and he comes in behind me to "clean up the mess". You can say he is slightly anal. He likes his home, his body and his clothes to look appealing at all times. On the upside, I NEVER, EVER have to nag him about anything. I hear women talking about how they have to nag their husbands to do projects around the home, or clean up, or take out the trash. Not my guy. He does the laundry before I have a chance to, he washes the sheets faithfully every Friday morning, he puts the dishes away before I'm even finished with my drink, and I've never seen the garbage to point of overflowing. As far as projects go, I can just do something as little as picking out a paint swatch, and the next day the room will be painted. That is exactly what happened for our baby's nursery, the kitchen, the bathroom and the dining room (which is done in a beautiful Tuscan faux finish). Most recently, we were re-organizing our home one Saturday and I opened up my closet and mentioned to my husband how (at some point) I wanted to add some more usable space to it. Next thing I know, he said "clean out your closet", as he himself is taking piles of clothes from my closet and throwing them on the bed. In less than an hour, he had added extra racks for me to fit more clothes and I now I have a more organized closet. Some of my friends have joked how it must be hard for me to live with him and his "anal tendencies". My reply is that the alternative is hell and this is heaven for me. I know, I've lived it.
What seems like a lifetime ago, when I was young and naive and stupid, I married a very nice, romantic boy from a wealthy Greek family. It was one of those situations where we had been dating for a while and engagement seemed like the logical next step. At the time, I thought this life was perfect for me. Then, after we moved into our first home, which his parents bought for us, I soon realized that was not at all the life or type of husband I wanted. He was L A Z Y. He NEVER cleaned and was the type of guy to leave his dirty socks lying around. That's a Greek family for you- they don't teach their boys how to take care of themselves. I would come home from a two-day business trip to a sink full of dirty dishes, that I would have to put away before I felt comfortable enough to unpack and go to sleep. If anything in the home needed repairing, he would call his father to come fix it. I would have to constantly nag him to take out the garbage, pick up his dirty clothes, or simply get his butt off the couch and take me out to dinner or a movie or just walk around the neighborhood. Needless to say, any painting or small cosmetic changes around the house were solely left up to me (except on the times when he would ask his mother's opinion for which color we should go with). After two years of that, I was exhausted. I realized that I don't have the energy to stand behind any man with a cattle-prod, just so he will actually take out the garbage before the rats come in for a feast. I knew that being in a relationship like that would mean a lifetime of arguments for me.
I got out of that lazy and dull marriage, having learned a lot about myself in the process. I knew that I didn't want to have children with a man that I could foresee myself being miserable with down the road. I knew that I wanted to have children with a man that I loved unconditionally and complimented each other's strengths and weaknesses. As badly as I wanted children, I knew that I wanted to wait until I could bring them into a relationship that was strong, loving, fun and not dancing with the idea of divorce before they are even born. That part is key, because I've seen many women fall into that "family plan" only to end up divorced with kids in the mix. Primarily, I realized that I wanted the father of my children to have the type of character traits that I wanted to be instilled in my children. In this case, someone who was self-motivated, disciplined, and hard-working in all aspects of his life.
So, when my husband throws out a couple snide yet sarcastic remarks about the lazier contestants on The Biggest Loser, or about how I fail to push my underwear drawer in all the way so it is flush with the dresser, I don't get irritated or even take it personally. Instead, I appreciate the non-lazy man he is, while confident that I can throw away that old cattle-prod.
To the women out there who think it's annoying to live with an anal man such as my husband, all I can say is: Have fun picking up those dirty socks and putting down the toilet seat every day. I'm doing just fine watching my husband fold the laundry, while I catch an episode of The Biggest Loser.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Week I Lost My Sanity ... and Gained A Little Weight
Yes, I have been MIA for a couple of weeks now, primarily due to the demands of motherhood .. oh and life in general. I truly desired and attempted a few times, to write a blog entry or two last week as ideas came into my head. However, I was excruciatingly exhausted, which left me partially brain dead. Thus, the lack of ability to write a word let alone an entire blog entry. Last week was positively the most difficult week I've had since motherhood began for me. Possibly the only difficult week so far. The hardest part for me was trying to get my sweet little baby to finally sleep through the night so that I can transition him into his crib soon. No, my husband and I are not the type of parents who can do this thing cold turkey and let him cry himself to sleep every night for 2 weeks.
My son just turned 4 months on February 3rd but has been teething for a solid month and a half. He already has 2 white specks poking their way through his bottom gum. Therefore, he is excessively drooling and endlessly cranky. Much to be expected, of course. Back in early December, before his teething began, he was sleeping well and only getting up once a night to nurse. However, when the teething began, then the fussiness followed and the nursing increased, which left me with an uphill battle in the sleeping department. Which leads me to last week. After the checkup with the pediatrician, I was assured that my hungry little guy could last through the night without starving, so we came up with a "baby step" plan to get him sleeping through the night and then transition Little Man to the crib. These baby steps are more for the benefit of my husband and I. We're tough, just not that tough. Basically, the end result was that I was the one up all night every night, to the point that I don't believe I ever achieved REM sleep. During the day, I was a walking zombie, with bags under my eyes, tired looking skin, nappy hair, not able to speak complete sentences - the whole bit. The exhuastion started a snowball effect of not having the energy to excersize, which then led to bad eating habits of taking in too much junk food. Hence, the weight gain. Mentally, that was the worst part for me because I have been on a steady decline every week since delivery. Granted I have already lost the pregnancy pounds and fit well into most of my jeans, but my goal is to get back to my "dating" body. The body I had when I actually had the ability to lure in men like my husband. I even prayed Friday evening that I would be able to get ample rest Friday night so I could muster the energy to go for a 2 mile walk.
Lo and behold, somehow the miracle happened. The baby suddenly switched gears from his nightly multiple feeding pattern to once a night between 4 -5 am. (I really tried cutting this one out as well but came to accept the fact that he is just ravenous by this time and far more stubborn than I am). I woke up Saturday morning with a renewed sense of energy and then thanked God for his help, because without it, I'd be a walking vegetable by now, or worse, a couch potato.
As for our next baby step, we realized that Little Man could use some extra calories in his diet, which may help to getting him to cut back on his nightly nursing. So far, not so good. He is not a lover of organic rice cereal or eating from a spoon. He much prefers the breast. His daddy can't blame him on that one. Compared to "Hell Week" though, these next baby steps will be a piece of cake.... and they say Navy Seals have it tough with sleep deprivation. Ha! Try motherhood.
My son just turned 4 months on February 3rd but has been teething for a solid month and a half. He already has 2 white specks poking their way through his bottom gum. Therefore, he is excessively drooling and endlessly cranky. Much to be expected, of course. Back in early December, before his teething began, he was sleeping well and only getting up once a night to nurse. However, when the teething began, then the fussiness followed and the nursing increased, which left me with an uphill battle in the sleeping department. Which leads me to last week. After the checkup with the pediatrician, I was assured that my hungry little guy could last through the night without starving, so we came up with a "baby step" plan to get him sleeping through the night and then transition Little Man to the crib. These baby steps are more for the benefit of my husband and I. We're tough, just not that tough. Basically, the end result was that I was the one up all night every night, to the point that I don't believe I ever achieved REM sleep. During the day, I was a walking zombie, with bags under my eyes, tired looking skin, nappy hair, not able to speak complete sentences - the whole bit. The exhuastion started a snowball effect of not having the energy to excersize, which then led to bad eating habits of taking in too much junk food. Hence, the weight gain. Mentally, that was the worst part for me because I have been on a steady decline every week since delivery. Granted I have already lost the pregnancy pounds and fit well into most of my jeans, but my goal is to get back to my "dating" body. The body I had when I actually had the ability to lure in men like my husband. I even prayed Friday evening that I would be able to get ample rest Friday night so I could muster the energy to go for a 2 mile walk.
Lo and behold, somehow the miracle happened. The baby suddenly switched gears from his nightly multiple feeding pattern to once a night between 4 -5 am. (I really tried cutting this one out as well but came to accept the fact that he is just ravenous by this time and far more stubborn than I am). I woke up Saturday morning with a renewed sense of energy and then thanked God for his help, because without it, I'd be a walking vegetable by now, or worse, a couch potato.
As for our next baby step, we realized that Little Man could use some extra calories in his diet, which may help to getting him to cut back on his nightly nursing. So far, not so good. He is not a lover of organic rice cereal or eating from a spoon. He much prefers the breast. His daddy can't blame him on that one. Compared to "Hell Week" though, these next baby steps will be a piece of cake.... and they say Navy Seals have it tough with sleep deprivation. Ha! Try motherhood.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
My rant time.... nap time!?
Okay, I am really pissed off about something. How can someone get so pissed off planning a 1 year olds birthday party? Can someone please tell me if this is normal?
SO my husband has these "friends" who basically mooched off of him for years. This couple has 2 daughters, 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years old. We have been to each of their birthday parties; we even brought baby A when she was 5 months old to one of them. The Mom works so the kids go to daycare every day - all day long- and she told me that she gets home, feeds and bathes them and puts them to bed at 6:30. Dad doesn't even get home from work until at least 8 pm. So you think they would want to spend some quality time with their kids on the weekend? Maybe at a beautiful waterfront park celebrating another little girls birthday party?
NOOOOO, this was the response on the evite. "The girls nap at that time. Maybe (the dad) will stop by." Mind you the party is from 2-5. What, they sleep for 3 hours and then you put them to bed immediately again at 6:30? What gives with that bedtime anyway when you never see your kids? I guess they need to be rested to get back in the car to head to daycare at 7am the next morning.
These are the same kids that she doesn't let go to the beach or pool between 10:30 and 4 because of the sun possibly burning them. Ever hear of sunscreen, psycho? We finally met them once to go to the pool and yeh, the pool was heated but it was freezing when we got out! That cannot be better for them than seeing the light of day.
I really didn't like this woman when I met her because we have nothing in common. At all. I tried though. I am done now. This woman is a neurotic mess!
All I want to say is: "You know how you hated being such a dork in school? Let me tell you why..... and you're grooming your kids to be exactly the same."
SO my husband has these "friends" who basically mooched off of him for years. This couple has 2 daughters, 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years old. We have been to each of their birthday parties; we even brought baby A when she was 5 months old to one of them. The Mom works so the kids go to daycare every day - all day long- and she told me that she gets home, feeds and bathes them and puts them to bed at 6:30. Dad doesn't even get home from work until at least 8 pm. So you think they would want to spend some quality time with their kids on the weekend? Maybe at a beautiful waterfront park celebrating another little girls birthday party?
NOOOOO, this was the response on the evite. "The girls nap at that time. Maybe (the dad) will stop by." Mind you the party is from 2-5. What, they sleep for 3 hours and then you put them to bed immediately again at 6:30? What gives with that bedtime anyway when you never see your kids? I guess they need to be rested to get back in the car to head to daycare at 7am the next morning.
These are the same kids that she doesn't let go to the beach or pool between 10:30 and 4 because of the sun possibly burning them. Ever hear of sunscreen, psycho? We finally met them once to go to the pool and yeh, the pool was heated but it was freezing when we got out! That cannot be better for them than seeing the light of day.
I really didn't like this woman when I met her because we have nothing in common. At all. I tried though. I am done now. This woman is a neurotic mess!
All I want to say is: "You know how you hated being such a dork in school? Let me tell you why..... and you're grooming your kids to be exactly the same."
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My Husband, The Good Father
Before we had our baby, I, like most women out there, would imagine the kind of father my husband would be. I would create images in my head of him holding and kissing the baby, rocking him to sleep, talking to him in his "baby voice", and doing the dad type of things such as throwing him in the air as the baby laughs. I always knew he would be a hands-on, doting father.
I knew this because men are predictable in this fashion. He was always caring, thoughtful, nurturing and doting toward me. From our first date, he had that sense of "needing to provide", that many men have (but trust me, there are a lot of men out there lacking this trait). However, since we were rarely around children, the true test came when I could see the kind of "father" he would be toward our English Bulldog puppy that I surprised him with 2 years ago. Of course he passed with flying colors. His "princess", as he lovingly refers to her, is loved to the brink of being spoiled. I think at one point, I was slightly suspicious that he might love our dog more than he loved me. He never treated her as our pet, she was always our child. She slept in the bed with us, he would cuddle her and kiss her wrinkly face that only a father could love, but he was equally firm with disciplining her. She has turned out to be a sweet and well-behaved dog. After seeing all this first hand, I was convinced he would be an excellent father; and I was right. All of those loving parental traits carried over seamlessly to our baby. From the moment our little man arrived, my husband easily melded into the role of doting daddy. There were no awkward moments for him holding the baby, they bonded immediately (even before I had a chance to), and he was the first one to change the baby's diaper since I could barely move due to the pain from my c-section. Not once did I ever have to show my husband how to do anything in regards to caring for our baby. Pretty nice, I have to admit.
The thing that I did not anticipate, is that he would continue to love our bulldog as his "delicate precious angel" and our baby boy as his "tough guy" that can handle a little crying. I'm glad that he hasn't just kicked our dog out to the garage simply because we have a baby now, I just assumed there would be a hierarchy in the family order. As for me, I love our "little girl", but she has definitely taken a back seat to the demands of the baby. And quite frankly, I naturally love my baby a whole lot more than the dog. However, there are times when it is clearly hard to decipher if the dog or baby is more favored by him. My husband is such a good father in fact, that he goes to great lengths to make sure the love and attention is equally spread out between "his princess" and his son. He still tucks the dog in each night, as she still shares our bed with us, only now, I have to find space in our bed to nurse the baby at night. If I rock or coddle the baby, my husband will automatically do the same to the dog "so she won't feel left out". When he is traveling for work, the first thing he will ask about is "how his precious angel is doing", and since he has never given me that name, I know it's not me that he is referring to. He even greets the dog first when he walks in the door. The funny part is that he will lovingly remind me to kiss, or cuddle, or massage our bulldog when he is away. HA! Like I have the time!
I will say that it took a little time for me to accept the fact that he was not going to put the dog second to the baby, the way I did. They are equal in his eyes. My conclusion from these observations: That my husband is not just a good father, he is an excellent father and has the ability to play no favorites in his family. He will truly be able to give all of his children equal attention (maybe it's the middle child syndrome). It is I, who may have the problem splitting time and attention between multiple children. We'll see.
I knew this because men are predictable in this fashion. He was always caring, thoughtful, nurturing and doting toward me. From our first date, he had that sense of "needing to provide", that many men have (but trust me, there are a lot of men out there lacking this trait). However, since we were rarely around children, the true test came when I could see the kind of "father" he would be toward our English Bulldog puppy that I surprised him with 2 years ago. Of course he passed with flying colors. His "princess", as he lovingly refers to her, is loved to the brink of being spoiled. I think at one point, I was slightly suspicious that he might love our dog more than he loved me. He never treated her as our pet, she was always our child. She slept in the bed with us, he would cuddle her and kiss her wrinkly face that only a father could love, but he was equally firm with disciplining her. She has turned out to be a sweet and well-behaved dog. After seeing all this first hand, I was convinced he would be an excellent father; and I was right. All of those loving parental traits carried over seamlessly to our baby. From the moment our little man arrived, my husband easily melded into the role of doting daddy. There were no awkward moments for him holding the baby, they bonded immediately (even before I had a chance to), and he was the first one to change the baby's diaper since I could barely move due to the pain from my c-section. Not once did I ever have to show my husband how to do anything in regards to caring for our baby. Pretty nice, I have to admit.
The thing that I did not anticipate, is that he would continue to love our bulldog as his "delicate precious angel" and our baby boy as his "tough guy" that can handle a little crying. I'm glad that he hasn't just kicked our dog out to the garage simply because we have a baby now, I just assumed there would be a hierarchy in the family order. As for me, I love our "little girl", but she has definitely taken a back seat to the demands of the baby. And quite frankly, I naturally love my baby a whole lot more than the dog. However, there are times when it is clearly hard to decipher if the dog or baby is more favored by him. My husband is such a good father in fact, that he goes to great lengths to make sure the love and attention is equally spread out between "his princess" and his son. He still tucks the dog in each night, as she still shares our bed with us, only now, I have to find space in our bed to nurse the baby at night. If I rock or coddle the baby, my husband will automatically do the same to the dog "so she won't feel left out". When he is traveling for work, the first thing he will ask about is "how his precious angel is doing", and since he has never given me that name, I know it's not me that he is referring to. He even greets the dog first when he walks in the door. The funny part is that he will lovingly remind me to kiss, or cuddle, or massage our bulldog when he is away. HA! Like I have the time!
I will say that it took a little time for me to accept the fact that he was not going to put the dog second to the baby, the way I did. They are equal in his eyes. My conclusion from these observations: That my husband is not just a good father, he is an excellent father and has the ability to play no favorites in his family. He will truly be able to give all of his children equal attention (maybe it's the middle child syndrome). It is I, who may have the problem splitting time and attention between multiple children. We'll see.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
If the economy is so bad, explain this!
WTF! That's all I can say. The economy is horrible, right? People are losing their jobs left and right, correct? Then why is it that every time I go shopping, the service is shitty, the shelves are empty and I can't find a parking spot??
We just got home from Babies R Us where we potentially could have spent $500. today. We need some big ticket items. Besides the fact that we couldn't even find a salesperson to help us, when we did find the area where the items were, they were sold out.
We picked up a couple things that weren't even what we went for. The lines at the register were long and then one cashier closed. Seriously!! If the job market is so tough, why isn't service impeccable?
This isn't just the case at Babies R Us. I've had the same problem at Target, Stride Rite, Macy's and Bloomingdale's recently (to name a few.)
I was shopping for bridal gowns with my soon to be sister in law yesterday. We went to a bridal salon that only sells couture gowns (I would say the average price there for a wedding dress is around $3000-3500.) We literally had to park in the hotel parking lot next door and had to make an appointment. If Bride A didn't buy a dress, our consultant was about to move on to another client! (The service there was excellent, I must add, for a change.) I witnessed several brides purchase gowns in a short time period yesterday. Of the gowns I recognized, 1 was a $5000 Monique Lhuillier, another a $5500 Ines de Santo. I've heard the wedding biz is seeing a slump, too. I guess these brides decided to serve their guests chicken instead of filet in lieu of giving up their couture! (I say good decision!)
I believe the economy is bad. I am starting to hear of some people I personally know having troubles. Independent contractors who aren't getting projects, friends whose hours are being cut, or their company's are closing. It just seems like the media is spurring this economic crisis more than anything else because in LA, it seems pretty much like business as usual in the stores.
Word to those gainfully employed in a restaurant, store or other service position: Maybe you oughta "go above and beyond" because if the service I've seen keeps up, and the economy keeps going down, you will probably be living on your unemployment check.
We just got home from Babies R Us where we potentially could have spent $500. today. We need some big ticket items. Besides the fact that we couldn't even find a salesperson to help us, when we did find the area where the items were, they were sold out.
We picked up a couple things that weren't even what we went for. The lines at the register were long and then one cashier closed. Seriously!! If the job market is so tough, why isn't service impeccable?
This isn't just the case at Babies R Us. I've had the same problem at Target, Stride Rite, Macy's and Bloomingdale's recently (to name a few.)
I was shopping for bridal gowns with my soon to be sister in law yesterday. We went to a bridal salon that only sells couture gowns (I would say the average price there for a wedding dress is around $3000-3500.) We literally had to park in the hotel parking lot next door and had to make an appointment. If Bride A didn't buy a dress, our consultant was about to move on to another client! (The service there was excellent, I must add, for a change.) I witnessed several brides purchase gowns in a short time period yesterday. Of the gowns I recognized, 1 was a $5000 Monique Lhuillier, another a $5500 Ines de Santo. I've heard the wedding biz is seeing a slump, too. I guess these brides decided to serve their guests chicken instead of filet in lieu of giving up their couture! (I say good decision!)
I believe the economy is bad. I am starting to hear of some people I personally know having troubles. Independent contractors who aren't getting projects, friends whose hours are being cut, or their company's are closing. It just seems like the media is spurring this economic crisis more than anything else because in LA, it seems pretty much like business as usual in the stores.
Word to those gainfully employed in a restaurant, store or other service position: Maybe you oughta "go above and beyond" because if the service I've seen keeps up, and the economy keeps going down, you will probably be living on your unemployment check.
My favorite Celeb sighting!
Hi Sisters, I just had to share about my celeb sighting today! I think this is my best random sighting of all time! I took baby A and 3 girlfriends and we went to brunch at a local organic vegan restaurant, and sitting straight across from me, lookin' right at me was Reese Witherspoon! She is much smaller than I thought, her hair is darker, she needs her roots done like me and her chin doesn't look nearly as big as onscreen. She was alone but there were 2 teas on the table.... and suddenly here comes Jake Gylenhal from the bathroom! He looked..... exactly the same.
This is the best celeb sighting I've had in a while. Living in LA, I see people quite a bit, but these are probably the biggest stars I've seen randomly (not at a planned event or party.) Just wanted to share! =)
This is the best celeb sighting I've had in a while. Living in LA, I see people quite a bit, but these are probably the biggest stars I've seen randomly (not at a planned event or party.) Just wanted to share! =)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Gotta love your MIL
I just came from spending a couple hours with my Mother in law. I try to take baby A to see her when the cleaning lady is at my house or when I will be in her neighborhood, which is a comfortable twenty-some miles from my home. I left today, as I often do, with a headache.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my MIL. She is a very warm and loving mother (along with controlling and extremely opinionated, but that's to be expected I suppose.) A typical Jewish mother, except a younger and more attractive version of what you would picture.
The thing is, like many Grandmothers, she is constantly offering her opinion but in such a way that it sounds like she is saying I am a bad mother. My husband says that I am just sensitive and imagining it, but I don't think so. She made a comment today about the shoes baby A is wearing. A has a little runny nose and it seems like she is either possibly teething or getting a little cold and somehow, some way, it's like she is in a competition with me to diagnose A first. Every time I tell a story that I think she would truly enjoy about A's development (like her new obsession with reading the same book over and over and over) she has to try to one-up me! Yes, my MIL taught A to clap her hands. That's awesome! I'm psyched! I totally give her credit! I am not all jealous and needing to try to take that away from her.
My MIL sees A twice a week on average. Somehow, though, it's like she needs to compete with me over who saw which milestones first. Seriously? I am with the child 24/7; you see her maybe 5 hours a week! It kills me when she says "OMG, you have to see what she just did; she was standing up all by herself and clapping!" Um, yeh, she's been doing that for a while now.
This isn't the case with my Mom at all. My Mom has never done anything remotely offensive or improper, or made any comments. This always seems to be the case; the MIL is the issue, never our own mother's. Why is that?
I know my MIL loves my daughter. She loves her like crazy! I just wonder why she can't enjoy her WITH me and not try to prove that she is a better mother than I am or something. I get it, you raised 3 kids. I respect you. Is it too much to ask for a little respect in return?
Now don't get me wrong, I love my MIL. She is a very warm and loving mother (along with controlling and extremely opinionated, but that's to be expected I suppose.) A typical Jewish mother, except a younger and more attractive version of what you would picture.
The thing is, like many Grandmothers, she is constantly offering her opinion but in such a way that it sounds like she is saying I am a bad mother. My husband says that I am just sensitive and imagining it, but I don't think so. She made a comment today about the shoes baby A is wearing. A has a little runny nose and it seems like she is either possibly teething or getting a little cold and somehow, some way, it's like she is in a competition with me to diagnose A first. Every time I tell a story that I think she would truly enjoy about A's development (like her new obsession with reading the same book over and over and over) she has to try to one-up me! Yes, my MIL taught A to clap her hands. That's awesome! I'm psyched! I totally give her credit! I am not all jealous and needing to try to take that away from her.
My MIL sees A twice a week on average. Somehow, though, it's like she needs to compete with me over who saw which milestones first. Seriously? I am with the child 24/7; you see her maybe 5 hours a week! It kills me when she says "OMG, you have to see what she just did; she was standing up all by herself and clapping!" Um, yeh, she's been doing that for a while now.
This isn't the case with my Mom at all. My Mom has never done anything remotely offensive or improper, or made any comments. This always seems to be the case; the MIL is the issue, never our own mother's. Why is that?
I know my MIL loves my daughter. She loves her like crazy! I just wonder why she can't enjoy her WITH me and not try to prove that she is a better mother than I am or something. I get it, you raised 3 kids. I respect you. Is it too much to ask for a little respect in return?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Measuring Family Ties ~ Eva
I have long imagined what life would be like to start my own family. I'm sure all women do. You think about what the baby will look like, you imagine sweet smiles and loving coos, and how full your days would be caring for and playing with your new bundle. The one thing I never imagined, nor EVER came to mind, is what it would be like for the extended family. Having a baby truly strengthens the family ties and our ties are now about 25 inches long - coincidentally, the current length of my baby boy.
I have to be brutally honest here; that is way too short and too close for comfort, for me. I have never been the kind of girl that needed to stick close to home for family, or got homesick, or wanted to move back to a town near my sister or parents, and definitely did not ask for help or seek out their advice. Hence, why I was never for a moment, scared to move so far away from them. I am a loner of sorts and thrive in my independence. I do enjoy talking with my family often and visiting with them in a 3 day (maximum) duration a few times a year. They understand this about me and have not infringed on my privacy or independence at all since my firstborn baby arrived. What I did not anticipate, is how my in-laws would act.
First of all, let me start off by saying that my husband's family is wonderful. They are truly the warmest, nicest, most thoughtful midwestern people you could imagine - as though they walked straight off the streets of the real Mayberry. We're talking parents still together (very rare these days) and three successful and good-looking children, whom all get along well with each other, and have all accepted me as though I was heaven sent (my husband laughs at that). I'm especially close to my sister-in-law, who is my husband's baby sister. She is the kind of girl you want to hate but can't - she's gorgeous, very successful, extremely generous, funny, and angelic. The kind of girl who can make anyone they meet, genuinely feel like the most important person in the room (a trait I've never been good at). Basically, she is the absolute opposite of all my former boyfriends' younger sisters ( a story I'll save for another time). The catch is, our baby, my baby, is the absolute first baby in his entire family. He is the first grandchild and great grandchild. Talk about pressure.
While pregnant, I imagined this to be a good thing. I thought about how loved (and spoiled) my little man would be. Since my baby is simply the youngest in a huge brood of granchildren among my family, I thought it would be special that he is the first in my husband's. I remember my co-worker saying to me that everything will change with the in-laws once the baby arrives. I defended myself and my in-laws, saying "No way. I love them. It won't be like that." I admit now, how very wrong I was. Having a baby has greatly changed the dynamics of my relationship with my in-laws; and not for the better.
The best one-word description for my new feelings toward it all is annoyance. I honestly kept an open-mind throughout my pregnancy regarding the roles of my MIL and FIL. Yes, I got a little annoyed when they stayed for a long weekend with us in the summer, but mainly because they took over my kitchen and treated me like I was crippled. I kindly reminded them that I was simply pregnant, and was more than capable of getting my own drink. The change really hit me when my MIL stayed with us for TEN DAYS after the baby was born. We literally got discharged from the hospital and drove straight to the airport to pick her up. TEN DAYS!!
Holy cow, I still get shivers when I think about it. I can't even spend 3 consecutive days with my own family. In that long and dreadful week and a half, I learned a lot about myself. Mainly, that I absolutely abhor unsolicited advice. Is there some unwritten law out there, that once a MIL becomes a grandmother to your child, she has a lifelong fulfillment to tell her daughter-in-law exactly how to do EVERYTHING? The second thing I learned about myself is that I'm truly so happy that we do not live within driving distance of them. I know this is somewhat selfish on my part, because maybe my son would enjoy having his grandparents nearby as he grows. OK, it is selfish. I don't care! I justify it by thinking that my child would rather have a "happy mommy" than a frustrated one who has to deal with daily house calls. Ugh!
I think the part that frustrates me most about the advice is that it is sooo outdated. I mean back when she had kids, they didn't even strap them in car seats for God's sake. They just let them run around the moving vehicle like it was romper room. I remember calling my fellow sister Jennifer, and through tears of frustration, venting my guilty feelings for not wanting my sweet MIL in my home or near my child. She said something that has stuck with me ever since, "maybe if they read a book about babies that was written in the last decade...". That could not be more true! Let's see, the major highlights were that she had no clue as to what SIDS is (which I fully explained, backed with medical evidence), she never even looked at our baby registry and therefore had no idea what any of our baby gear was used for, she would try and take the baby away from me when I was nursing him or changing his diapers or simply bonding with him (and she would do it in a fashion to make me feel like I NEEDED her help because I couldn't handle it on my own), and the straw that broke the camel's back was when she attempted to give me her ideas (that were incorrect) on my difficult start to breastfeeding.
For the pregnant women and new moms out there, I will explain the breastfeeding situation. It took almost a week for my milk to come in, due to my stressful delivery. My baby latched on right away, but soon got tired and frustrated with the colostrum and wanted more substance. He has always been, and still is, a ferocious eater and wants his milk as quickly as you can give it. On the second day after his birth I noticed he would start rooting, latch on, and then push himself away out of frustration, then simply cry himself to sleep. On the third day, the nurses said he lost a significant amount of weight and so I had the lactation nurses come in to our room. They explained that some babies just don't want the colostrum and start to push away from the breast, if this happens too many times, the baby will associate your breast with "no milk" and simply detach, which was exactly what he was doing. Thankfully, they set me up with a supplemental feeding system that allowed the baby to get formula fed while he latched on, thus helping to stimulate your milk supply and teaching the baby that mommy's breast is a "good thing". As any woman who has breastfed knows, the more the baby latches on, the more your body will increase milk supply. End result: my milk came in like a flood after 6 or 7 days and he quickly gained his weight back.
Back to my MIL story, so during this stressful period of waiting for my milk to come in, she ignorantly tells me that I should stop the supplemental feeding system because it was "tricking" my body and thus preventing the milk from coming (WTF?), and then blatantly tells me that I needed to "rethink" my expectations of what motherhood and a schedule for my baby would be like and "just go with the flow". That second statement really got under my skin because I had no, and still do not have, ANY type of strict schedule. From day one, it has always been according to the baby's mood each day. This is not my first experience with babies. I am very close to 7 of my nieces and nephews, acted as a free live-in nanny for my sisters first-born, and have also worked as a nanny for several wealthy families, which meant practicly raising their children. I knew she was projecting and thinking about herself when she was a new mother (thirty some years ago). Needless to say, I blew my lid and drew a very defined boundary around myself and my baby.
Anyway, what is my point besides dredging up past irritants about the in-laws? Well, she called today saying that she is sending me a book on methods for getting the baby to sleep through the night. I know why my baby doesn't sleep all the way through the night, it's because he's ALWAYS hungry. Back to my point of him being a ferocious eater. Therefore, he will most likely be on this schedule until I start him on solids such as rice cereal.
Back to biting my tongue. ...
I'm sure I'll keep you informed of MIL updates, since that is now on my hot list. Gotta go... baby's hungry.
I have to be brutally honest here; that is way too short and too close for comfort, for me. I have never been the kind of girl that needed to stick close to home for family, or got homesick, or wanted to move back to a town near my sister or parents, and definitely did not ask for help or seek out their advice. Hence, why I was never for a moment, scared to move so far away from them. I am a loner of sorts and thrive in my independence. I do enjoy talking with my family often and visiting with them in a 3 day (maximum) duration a few times a year. They understand this about me and have not infringed on my privacy or independence at all since my firstborn baby arrived. What I did not anticipate, is how my in-laws would act.
First of all, let me start off by saying that my husband's family is wonderful. They are truly the warmest, nicest, most thoughtful midwestern people you could imagine - as though they walked straight off the streets of the real Mayberry. We're talking parents still together (very rare these days) and three successful and good-looking children, whom all get along well with each other, and have all accepted me as though I was heaven sent (my husband laughs at that). I'm especially close to my sister-in-law, who is my husband's baby sister. She is the kind of girl you want to hate but can't - she's gorgeous, very successful, extremely generous, funny, and angelic. The kind of girl who can make anyone they meet, genuinely feel like the most important person in the room (a trait I've never been good at). Basically, she is the absolute opposite of all my former boyfriends' younger sisters ( a story I'll save for another time). The catch is, our baby, my baby, is the absolute first baby in his entire family. He is the first grandchild and great grandchild. Talk about pressure.
While pregnant, I imagined this to be a good thing. I thought about how loved (and spoiled) my little man would be. Since my baby is simply the youngest in a huge brood of granchildren among my family, I thought it would be special that he is the first in my husband's. I remember my co-worker saying to me that everything will change with the in-laws once the baby arrives. I defended myself and my in-laws, saying "No way. I love them. It won't be like that." I admit now, how very wrong I was. Having a baby has greatly changed the dynamics of my relationship with my in-laws; and not for the better.
The best one-word description for my new feelings toward it all is annoyance. I honestly kept an open-mind throughout my pregnancy regarding the roles of my MIL and FIL. Yes, I got a little annoyed when they stayed for a long weekend with us in the summer, but mainly because they took over my kitchen and treated me like I was crippled. I kindly reminded them that I was simply pregnant, and was more than capable of getting my own drink. The change really hit me when my MIL stayed with us for TEN DAYS after the baby was born. We literally got discharged from the hospital and drove straight to the airport to pick her up. TEN DAYS!!
Holy cow, I still get shivers when I think about it. I can't even spend 3 consecutive days with my own family. In that long and dreadful week and a half, I learned a lot about myself. Mainly, that I absolutely abhor unsolicited advice. Is there some unwritten law out there, that once a MIL becomes a grandmother to your child, she has a lifelong fulfillment to tell her daughter-in-law exactly how to do EVERYTHING? The second thing I learned about myself is that I'm truly so happy that we do not live within driving distance of them. I know this is somewhat selfish on my part, because maybe my son would enjoy having his grandparents nearby as he grows. OK, it is selfish. I don't care! I justify it by thinking that my child would rather have a "happy mommy" than a frustrated one who has to deal with daily house calls. Ugh!
I think the part that frustrates me most about the advice is that it is sooo outdated. I mean back when she had kids, they didn't even strap them in car seats for God's sake. They just let them run around the moving vehicle like it was romper room. I remember calling my fellow sister Jennifer, and through tears of frustration, venting my guilty feelings for not wanting my sweet MIL in my home or near my child. She said something that has stuck with me ever since, "maybe if they read a book about babies that was written in the last decade...". That could not be more true! Let's see, the major highlights were that she had no clue as to what SIDS is (which I fully explained, backed with medical evidence), she never even looked at our baby registry and therefore had no idea what any of our baby gear was used for, she would try and take the baby away from me when I was nursing him or changing his diapers or simply bonding with him (and she would do it in a fashion to make me feel like I NEEDED her help because I couldn't handle it on my own), and the straw that broke the camel's back was when she attempted to give me her ideas (that were incorrect) on my difficult start to breastfeeding.
For the pregnant women and new moms out there, I will explain the breastfeeding situation. It took almost a week for my milk to come in, due to my stressful delivery. My baby latched on right away, but soon got tired and frustrated with the colostrum and wanted more substance. He has always been, and still is, a ferocious eater and wants his milk as quickly as you can give it. On the second day after his birth I noticed he would start rooting, latch on, and then push himself away out of frustration, then simply cry himself to sleep. On the third day, the nurses said he lost a significant amount of weight and so I had the lactation nurses come in to our room. They explained that some babies just don't want the colostrum and start to push away from the breast, if this happens too many times, the baby will associate your breast with "no milk" and simply detach, which was exactly what he was doing. Thankfully, they set me up with a supplemental feeding system that allowed the baby to get formula fed while he latched on, thus helping to stimulate your milk supply and teaching the baby that mommy's breast is a "good thing". As any woman who has breastfed knows, the more the baby latches on, the more your body will increase milk supply. End result: my milk came in like a flood after 6 or 7 days and he quickly gained his weight back.
Back to my MIL story, so during this stressful period of waiting for my milk to come in, she ignorantly tells me that I should stop the supplemental feeding system because it was "tricking" my body and thus preventing the milk from coming (WTF?), and then blatantly tells me that I needed to "rethink" my expectations of what motherhood and a schedule for my baby would be like and "just go with the flow". That second statement really got under my skin because I had no, and still do not have, ANY type of strict schedule. From day one, it has always been according to the baby's mood each day. This is not my first experience with babies. I am very close to 7 of my nieces and nephews, acted as a free live-in nanny for my sisters first-born, and have also worked as a nanny for several wealthy families, which meant practicly raising their children. I knew she was projecting and thinking about herself when she was a new mother (thirty some years ago). Needless to say, I blew my lid and drew a very defined boundary around myself and my baby.
Anyway, what is my point besides dredging up past irritants about the in-laws? Well, she called today saying that she is sending me a book on methods for getting the baby to sleep through the night. I know why my baby doesn't sleep all the way through the night, it's because he's ALWAYS hungry. Back to my point of him being a ferocious eater. Therefore, he will most likely be on this schedule until I start him on solids such as rice cereal.
Back to biting my tongue. ...
I'm sure I'll keep you informed of MIL updates, since that is now on my hot list. Gotta go... baby's hungry.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Eva's obsession with The Biggest Loser
Yes, I admit that I am obsessed with the show "The Biggest Loser". I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it is because I like to see the contestants turn their lives around and get healthy, or maybe because watching the trainers, Bob and Jillian, drill their teams to the brink of death is motivational yet amusing to me (if they can do it after years of being sedentary, then I can certainly get to the gym today), but part of it is pure fascination.
As I started my group training session yesterday, I got a sudden pang of enthusiasm when one of the women (all of which are new mothers in this group) and my trainer, whom I compare to a sweeter version of Jillian, were discussing this week's episode. Specifically, they were discussing Bob's blow-up at one of his trainees (which I thought was AWESOME). My first thought was a "so there" to my husband, since he thinks I'm just a wee bit crazy for watching every episode for the past three seasons. Then, my next rational thought was "I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with this obsession". These women, are not only self-proclaimed addicts to The Biggest Loser, they are also in phenomenal shape. I can understand why my trainer would be a fan of the show due to her being in the same profession as Bob and Jillian, but what about my fellow workout partner? Turns out, she watches the show for the same exact reasons I do.
I'm mainly just fascinated with the aspect of how The Biggest Loser contestants have all gotten to the point where they are at the start of the show. After watching the background pieces on each person, you'll find some with food addictions, or some with a hardship they couldn't get over in their past, for others they simply "let themselves go".
On the news, they continually report on the obesity problem in America for adults and children. I will admit, that before I really started watching the show, I wasn't aware of how big this problem apparently is. See, I live in a very fit community. It's a beachtown, which has a lot to do with people's incentive for staying in shape. But more than that, it is an active community where people stay socially involved by staying fit. Whether we see our acquaintances at the gym, a pilates class, playing a sport, or jogging on one of the many trails in town, it seems to be the primary and socially acceptable way to meet people and gain friends in town. It's as though your exercise agenda adds credibility to your character. It's amazing how many times I've heard "oh she runs half-marathons", or "she goes to the pilates studio", or "he goes to the crosstraining gym". A big part of conversations with friends, co-workers, acquaintances is our workout schedule. Just ask my husband, having moved here only three years ago, he has more friends than I do, and 90% of them he met by seeing them daily at the gym. Therefore, living in my small and somewhat vain community has put blinders on me, as to what a big part of America looks like. I apologize for that. On the upside, it provides me with a plethora of exercise partners who are all working for the same healthy goals, and thus eliminating a great deal of temptation that middle-America may face.
The other part of my fascination stems from my compassionate side. I can understand the difficulties each contestant faced during their lives, that led them down the unhealthy path they are on. Then my excitement builds each week as I see these people shed pounds, add strength and gain confidence. Ultimately, I just like to see people improve their lives and themselves. Watching this, drives me to improve my own health and strength. So when my trainer starts telling me to "push through the pain", I find some hidden inner strength to complete this tortuous action. The result is that I've steadily gotten stronger every week since the birth of my baby. Woo Hoo to that!
So thank you Biggest Loser for those "last chance workouts".
http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/
As I started my group training session yesterday, I got a sudden pang of enthusiasm when one of the women (all of which are new mothers in this group) and my trainer, whom I compare to a sweeter version of Jillian, were discussing this week's episode. Specifically, they were discussing Bob's blow-up at one of his trainees (which I thought was AWESOME). My first thought was a "so there" to my husband, since he thinks I'm just a wee bit crazy for watching every episode for the past three seasons. Then, my next rational thought was "I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with this obsession". These women, are not only self-proclaimed addicts to The Biggest Loser, they are also in phenomenal shape. I can understand why my trainer would be a fan of the show due to her being in the same profession as Bob and Jillian, but what about my fellow workout partner? Turns out, she watches the show for the same exact reasons I do.
I'm mainly just fascinated with the aspect of how The Biggest Loser contestants have all gotten to the point where they are at the start of the show. After watching the background pieces on each person, you'll find some with food addictions, or some with a hardship they couldn't get over in their past, for others they simply "let themselves go".
On the news, they continually report on the obesity problem in America for adults and children. I will admit, that before I really started watching the show, I wasn't aware of how big this problem apparently is. See, I live in a very fit community. It's a beachtown, which has a lot to do with people's incentive for staying in shape. But more than that, it is an active community where people stay socially involved by staying fit. Whether we see our acquaintances at the gym, a pilates class, playing a sport, or jogging on one of the many trails in town, it seems to be the primary and socially acceptable way to meet people and gain friends in town. It's as though your exercise agenda adds credibility to your character. It's amazing how many times I've heard "oh she runs half-marathons", or "she goes to the pilates studio", or "he goes to the crosstraining gym". A big part of conversations with friends, co-workers, acquaintances is our workout schedule. Just ask my husband, having moved here only three years ago, he has more friends than I do, and 90% of them he met by seeing them daily at the gym. Therefore, living in my small and somewhat vain community has put blinders on me, as to what a big part of America looks like. I apologize for that. On the upside, it provides me with a plethora of exercise partners who are all working for the same healthy goals, and thus eliminating a great deal of temptation that middle-America may face.
The other part of my fascination stems from my compassionate side. I can understand the difficulties each contestant faced during their lives, that led them down the unhealthy path they are on. Then my excitement builds each week as I see these people shed pounds, add strength and gain confidence. Ultimately, I just like to see people improve their lives and themselves. Watching this, drives me to improve my own health and strength. So when my trainer starts telling me to "push through the pain", I find some hidden inner strength to complete this tortuous action. The result is that I've steadily gotten stronger every week since the birth of my baby. Woo Hoo to that!
So thank you Biggest Loser for those "last chance workouts".
http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A life more organized ~jennifer
Yikes! I've been running around like the proverbial chicken with her head cut off; each day, just aimlessly accomplishing (or not accomplishing) tasks and feeling little sense of completion. Well, my friends, the thousands I spent on my business coach back in the career days are not a complete waste because I pulled out the old dry erase board, listed my priorities in life using the "5 spheres" and have it right in the open to see. My goal is to complete 1 thing in each sphere each day. Today I have reached this goal, even though it is 4:20pm and I haven't showered yet.
The spheres are Spiritual, Family, Business(which is my home), Personal, Financial.
I'm praying in the morning again, which always helps the day go by a bit better. And I'm feeling pretty good, although a bit stinky because I DID make it to the gym (check for the Personal sphere.) If baby girl wasn't napping on the couch, I'd go scrub up.
Tata for now!
The spheres are Spiritual, Family, Business(which is my home), Personal, Financial.
I'm praying in the morning again, which always helps the day go by a bit better. And I'm feeling pretty good, although a bit stinky because I DID make it to the gym (check for the Personal sphere.) If baby girl wasn't napping on the couch, I'd go scrub up.
Tata for now!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Can We Truly Have It All? ~ Eva
As modern women, we put so much pressure on ourselves to "have it all". This simple three word phrase can pack a powerful punch to our stress levels as we try to achieve this status. Most women have a preconceived notion of what exactly 'having it all' means to her. My idea of having it all includes the loving marriage, the beautiful family, the svelte body, and the successful career. That seems attainable, right? Well, in my experience, when you are working hard on one or two of the factors, then one of the others suffer. I've met high-powered women who don't get to see their children as often as they like, due to the demands of their career. Or the women who chase their career and never have time to meet a man, or get to the gym. In my case, it has been my career that suffered.
I still remember heading off to college with big dreams of living in a big city like New York or Chicago or San Francisco, working at my glamorous job in fashion marketing and meeting my stylish girlfriends for lunch at trendy cafe`s, as though I was in a scene from Sex and The City. Somewhere along the way, my focus shifted toward boys, relationships, and the idea of the beautiful family life. I have, at least, managed to successfully stay in shape over the past decade.
If only I could have devoted some of that energy toward my career goals. It's not like I haven't worked and had good jobs in my chosen field of marketing, but how glamorous of a job can you get in a smallish city? And I should point out, that they have merely been good jobs and not the high-powered, high-salaried marketing positions I ultimately envisioned myself having. I look around at some of my friends, many of whom are successful attorneys, or I look at my SIL whom has a successful and well paid sales career in fashion in San Fran, and I start to feel inadequate. Why didn't I go to law or med school? Or more realistically, I begin thinking about the opportunities to move to a city that I passed on, or how I left the PR job at a big firm in a bigger city because I felt the need to be closer to my ex-fiance`, and the next thing that comes to mind is what would my career look like now? First of all, maybe I would still have a job right now instead of being laid-off like my current situation (and many previous situations). Also, my financial security and independence would be in a much higher bracket. My friends who can purchase the BMW of their choice, take that trip to Hawaii on short notice, or buy those pretty Manolos, and all on their own paychecks, can at times strike a twinge of envy in me. Not because I'm envious of their items, but because they were able to make large ticket purchases from their own earnings and I feel that I should be able to do the same. Sure I've always been able to pay my own bills, but my earnings only allow me to buy discount designer items on ebay or a year's worth of saving to take that trip to the Caribbean.
On the other hand, what I finally ended up getting, means so much more to me than financial success. I got the devoted husband and the beautiful baby, all in a gorgeous seaside town. No, I may not be driving a German vehicle, or briskly walking by designer stores and trendy cafes on my way to work, but I got in life, the very things that these women are lacking and some of them are now wanting. . . I get to kiss my smiling baby every morning, easily drive on streets without traffic to the nearest Starbucks and Target, go jogging on the beach, boating in the summer, and have a handyman on retainer (a.k.a. my husband). As I mentioned in a previous blog, these are the aspects in life that mattered most to me. It's not to say that I still don't want the big career, but something had to give - and I refuse to sacrifice the blessings I did receive.
I still remember heading off to college with big dreams of living in a big city like New York or Chicago or San Francisco, working at my glamorous job in fashion marketing and meeting my stylish girlfriends for lunch at trendy cafe`s, as though I was in a scene from Sex and The City. Somewhere along the way, my focus shifted toward boys, relationships, and the idea of the beautiful family life. I have, at least, managed to successfully stay in shape over the past decade.
If only I could have devoted some of that energy toward my career goals. It's not like I haven't worked and had good jobs in my chosen field of marketing, but how glamorous of a job can you get in a smallish city? And I should point out, that they have merely been good jobs and not the high-powered, high-salaried marketing positions I ultimately envisioned myself having. I look around at some of my friends, many of whom are successful attorneys, or I look at my SIL whom has a successful and well paid sales career in fashion in San Fran, and I start to feel inadequate. Why didn't I go to law or med school? Or more realistically, I begin thinking about the opportunities to move to a city that I passed on, or how I left the PR job at a big firm in a bigger city because I felt the need to be closer to my ex-fiance`, and the next thing that comes to mind is what would my career look like now? First of all, maybe I would still have a job right now instead of being laid-off like my current situation (and many previous situations). Also, my financial security and independence would be in a much higher bracket. My friends who can purchase the BMW of their choice, take that trip to Hawaii on short notice, or buy those pretty Manolos, and all on their own paychecks, can at times strike a twinge of envy in me. Not because I'm envious of their items, but because they were able to make large ticket purchases from their own earnings and I feel that I should be able to do the same. Sure I've always been able to pay my own bills, but my earnings only allow me to buy discount designer items on ebay or a year's worth of saving to take that trip to the Caribbean.
On the other hand, what I finally ended up getting, means so much more to me than financial success. I got the devoted husband and the beautiful baby, all in a gorgeous seaside town. No, I may not be driving a German vehicle, or briskly walking by designer stores and trendy cafes on my way to work, but I got in life, the very things that these women are lacking and some of them are now wanting. . . I get to kiss my smiling baby every morning, easily drive on streets without traffic to the nearest Starbucks and Target, go jogging on the beach, boating in the summer, and have a handyman on retainer (a.k.a. my husband). As I mentioned in a previous blog, these are the aspects in life that mattered most to me. It's not to say that I still don't want the big career, but something had to give - and I refuse to sacrifice the blessings I did receive.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Jennifer and Oprah and skinny bitches like my friends
I guess I've turned a corner in life because I just bought O magazine for the first time instead of my favorite guilty pleasure, like Us Weekly, Life and Style, or some other gossip rag. I was so inspired by what I read that I recorded Oprah's best week ever this week on my DVR. When I was watching the Monday show and her interview, I got a little teary. True, I am still breastfeeding and still more emotional than I ever was before having a baby, but I really identified with her. Hearing OPRAH, who is so established, successful, amazing, etc. talk about her weight in such a way really helped me to stop beating myself up about it. Okay, maybe not entirely, but if even Oprah is still battling it, I'm not the worst person in the world if I haven't mastered it yet either.
When Oprah said "I can't believe I am still talking about my weight" and she kept saying it, emphatically, over and over, I could have been saying the same exact thing. All these years, successes, failures, thinking I had it down only to lose control again.... "I can't believe I am still talking about my weight."
It's probably important for me to say that I have never had a weight PROBLEM, per se. Just have never been satisfied with myself. Even when I was a size 4, it wasn't enough. I still didn't see myself the way I wanted to. Now I am a post-baby size 8, sometimes I still need to wear the old size 10's from a couple months ago. I feel a lot better than I did over the summer, but I feel like if I can just get back into my 6's, I will be happy. But will I? Will it be enough then? I PROMISE right here and now that WHEN I get back in my 4's I will never call myself fat again!
The weird thing is, you know how they say anorexics, or maybe even someone like me in my size 4 days, sees a warped image in the mirror? They see themselves as bigger than they really are? Well, now I think I see myself SMALLER.... I feel like I am looking more like I used to, but then in a photo I look huge! HATE THAT!
I guess it never helped either that I grew up with a very petite mother, sister, Grandmother and that Angelina, Eva and Victoria are all very thin. I was always the biggest one and I guess even if I wasn't really "big" compared to the rest of the world, I was compared to *my* world. I was 5'5" and 115 lbs. in high school. What the heck was wrong with me that I had body issues?? That's what ya get for being part of the beautiful people I guess. Poor Me. =)
"I can't BELIEVE I am still talking about my weight."
When Oprah said "I can't believe I am still talking about my weight" and she kept saying it, emphatically, over and over, I could have been saying the same exact thing. All these years, successes, failures, thinking I had it down only to lose control again.... "I can't believe I am still talking about my weight."
It's probably important for me to say that I have never had a weight PROBLEM, per se. Just have never been satisfied with myself. Even when I was a size 4, it wasn't enough. I still didn't see myself the way I wanted to. Now I am a post-baby size 8, sometimes I still need to wear the old size 10's from a couple months ago. I feel a lot better than I did over the summer, but I feel like if I can just get back into my 6's, I will be happy. But will I? Will it be enough then? I PROMISE right here and now that WHEN I get back in my 4's I will never call myself fat again!
The weird thing is, you know how they say anorexics, or maybe even someone like me in my size 4 days, sees a warped image in the mirror? They see themselves as bigger than they really are? Well, now I think I see myself SMALLER.... I feel like I am looking more like I used to, but then in a photo I look huge! HATE THAT!
I guess it never helped either that I grew up with a very petite mother, sister, Grandmother and that Angelina, Eva and Victoria are all very thin. I was always the biggest one and I guess even if I wasn't really "big" compared to the rest of the world, I was compared to *my* world. I was 5'5" and 115 lbs. in high school. What the heck was wrong with me that I had body issues?? That's what ya get for being part of the beautiful people I guess. Poor Me. =)
"I can't BELIEVE I am still talking about my weight."
10 month old babies are magical!
Jen's life just got a little bit easier. For the past couple months, maybe since Miss A was 7 or 8 months old, things haven't been so wonderful as a stay at home Mom. As I posted before, I was looking for an escape by the end of the day and she was driving me nuts! I couldn't go pee in the other room without her whining for me and constantly needing to be with me. This means I got nothing done at home and was just frustrated with my innocent, sweet little baby.
Her 10 month birthday was a few days ago and bam! it was like presto-chango. She is such a joy to be with again and I have been having so much fun with her that I didn't even want to leave her to go to my monthly girls cribbage game night! She plays on her own when I need to do things and when we play together, she is hysterically funny. My baby girl is growing up! She even lets me take a shower!
On a "keeping the balance in my life" note: I signed up for a 3 week purification cleanse at my gym. I start January 18. It's protein shakes, cleanse pills and lots of fruits, veggies and clean protein. It's to rid the body of toxins, reset the metabolism and get rid of cravings. Oh, and a little bonus of losing 5-15 lbs. I'm so totally committed to this; I think I'll even get some colonics during the process. Yippee! Oprah's said her life is out of balance. Maybe she should try it too!
Her 10 month birthday was a few days ago and bam! it was like presto-chango. She is such a joy to be with again and I have been having so much fun with her that I didn't even want to leave her to go to my monthly girls cribbage game night! She plays on her own when I need to do things and when we play together, she is hysterically funny. My baby girl is growing up! She even lets me take a shower!
On a "keeping the balance in my life" note: I signed up for a 3 week purification cleanse at my gym. I start January 18. It's protein shakes, cleanse pills and lots of fruits, veggies and clean protein. It's to rid the body of toxins, reset the metabolism and get rid of cravings. Oh, and a little bonus of losing 5-15 lbs. I'm so totally committed to this; I think I'll even get some colonics during the process. Yippee! Oprah's said her life is out of balance. Maybe she should try it too!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Eva asks "Who is the love of my life?"
So my husband reads my blog entry this morning, and half-sarcastically says to me "That's a lie. I'm not the love of your life." I look shocked and asked him what on earth he was talking about. He replies, "Our son is the love of your life. I'm merely the guy who gave him to you."
Ok, so my adorable 3 month old boy, whom I lovingly refer to as My Little Man (and sometimes he bears the name Stinker for obvious reasons), has completely stolen my heart the moment they cut me open after 1 induction, 2 epidurals, 15 long hours of labor and 1 spinal, and pulled this semi-little/kinda big baby out. Why all that, you ask, only to have a C-section? Simply, because he wasn't going to fit. And that is the kind of love that a mother has for her child. So is my husband right? Is Little Man the new love of my life? It absolutely feels that way.
You see, he may have been a surprise, but was positively a HUGE blessing after some hardships and a lot of prayers. I have a form of thrombosis, a blood-clotting disorder that gets induced by pregnancy. This caused a couple miscarriages for me, which for anyone who has endured one knows how heartwrenching they are. One was with my ex-husband so I took that as a blessing in disguise since I knew the marriage wasn't right anyway. Another was with my current husband before we got married. That one was extremely difficult for me to deal with because I still wasn't sure why it had happened. It was a blighted ovum and started to grow but then suddenly stopped. Of course I began thinking the worst, that I wouldn't be able to carry a child to term, yet I knew that I wanted to have children with this man. My OB at the time offered no support or knowledge. Their response was, "there is nothing you can do". Well, that answer has never sat well with me. So I started my own research based on my family's medical history and guessed that I should be tested for a few possible causes. I should also mention that I haven't used birth control in almost a decade due to various side effects. So it worried me that I only got pregnant twice during that time.
Eventually I moved passed the difficult period and suddenly I was pregnant - again. I couldn't believe it! How did this happen... Oh yeah, I remember. Then the anxiety set in - and we were both not investing too much happiness into it. It's very sad when something wonderful happens and you can't let yourself celebrate it because you fear it will be taken away from you. When I went to my OB again, they actually said to me that they were not going to do an ultrasound until 12 weeks because they weren't sure what was going to happen to me. WTF?!! Are these medical people f-in crazy? They either were too stupid to know that my miscarriages could have been preventable or they were just the most negative group in the city.
I obviously left them without saying a word and referred myself (claiming a doctor referred me so I could get in a.s.a.p) to one of the best specialists in the area. He got me right in and reviewed my medical history with me - I think I was 6 weeks along and deathly afraid that I might literally start bleeding at any given moment. I almost expected it. He decided to start testing my blood that day, which meant the first thing needed was an ultrasound to determine yet another blighted ovum. I just knew that my body was preventing these little ones from growing. So with my then fiance in the room with me, I layed down on the table and watched the screen for the bad news. Suddenly I saw a blinking bean on the screen and looked at the doctor for confirmation. Yes, the little guy had a heartbeat, a strong heartbeat. The doctor determined that I couldn't be tested for everthing since it was still a viable heartbeat but promised quick results for what could be tested. I loved their sense of urgency - something that was clearly lacking at my old OB. It was pure angst waiting those 2 days for results. I wanted this pregnancy so badly at this point but I refused to let myself get attached. ..
I will never forget the day the nurse called me to come back to the office to start treatment. They infact found (what I had suggested could be a possible cause) my blood to have a form of thrombosis. I was immediately put on a blood thinner that I had to give myself via shots to my stomach twice daily for the entire length of my pregnancy. Sounds awful right? But my love for my unborn child started then and I was determined to bring him into this world. The rest is history. I moved on to a high-risk OB and a specialist for the latter terms of my pregnancy and grew increasingly attached to my little man because I was just certain that this prayer would be answered. That he was the one I was meant to have. But believe me, my pregnancy was no walk in the park.
So to answer my question. Is my little man the new love in my life? Yes. He fills my heart with more love and joy than I have ever thought existed. Inexplicably indescribable - as most mothers will atest to. But does he replace the love of my life? Absolutely not. It has only deepened my love for the man that my son resembles. And I know without question or reservation that my sexy husband is the love of my life, the reason my heart is so full... and why I continually waded through those muddy ponds full of carp looking for bass. That is why it is so important to me to make sure I never take him for granted.
http://www.stoptheclot.org/natt_publications/Thrombosis_and_pregnancy_factsheetLifeblood.pdf
Ok, so my adorable 3 month old boy, whom I lovingly refer to as My Little Man (and sometimes he bears the name Stinker for obvious reasons), has completely stolen my heart the moment they cut me open after 1 induction, 2 epidurals, 15 long hours of labor and 1 spinal, and pulled this semi-little/kinda big baby out. Why all that, you ask, only to have a C-section? Simply, because he wasn't going to fit. And that is the kind of love that a mother has for her child. So is my husband right? Is Little Man the new love of my life? It absolutely feels that way.
You see, he may have been a surprise, but was positively a HUGE blessing after some hardships and a lot of prayers. I have a form of thrombosis, a blood-clotting disorder that gets induced by pregnancy. This caused a couple miscarriages for me, which for anyone who has endured one knows how heartwrenching they are. One was with my ex-husband so I took that as a blessing in disguise since I knew the marriage wasn't right anyway. Another was with my current husband before we got married. That one was extremely difficult for me to deal with because I still wasn't sure why it had happened. It was a blighted ovum and started to grow but then suddenly stopped. Of course I began thinking the worst, that I wouldn't be able to carry a child to term, yet I knew that I wanted to have children with this man. My OB at the time offered no support or knowledge. Their response was, "there is nothing you can do". Well, that answer has never sat well with me. So I started my own research based on my family's medical history and guessed that I should be tested for a few possible causes. I should also mention that I haven't used birth control in almost a decade due to various side effects. So it worried me that I only got pregnant twice during that time.
Eventually I moved passed the difficult period and suddenly I was pregnant - again. I couldn't believe it! How did this happen... Oh yeah, I remember. Then the anxiety set in - and we were both not investing too much happiness into it. It's very sad when something wonderful happens and you can't let yourself celebrate it because you fear it will be taken away from you. When I went to my OB again, they actually said to me that they were not going to do an ultrasound until 12 weeks because they weren't sure what was going to happen to me. WTF?!! Are these medical people f-in crazy? They either were too stupid to know that my miscarriages could have been preventable or they were just the most negative group in the city.
I obviously left them without saying a word and referred myself (claiming a doctor referred me so I could get in a.s.a.p) to one of the best specialists in the area. He got me right in and reviewed my medical history with me - I think I was 6 weeks along and deathly afraid that I might literally start bleeding at any given moment. I almost expected it. He decided to start testing my blood that day, which meant the first thing needed was an ultrasound to determine yet another blighted ovum. I just knew that my body was preventing these little ones from growing. So with my then fiance in the room with me, I layed down on the table and watched the screen for the bad news. Suddenly I saw a blinking bean on the screen and looked at the doctor for confirmation. Yes, the little guy had a heartbeat, a strong heartbeat. The doctor determined that I couldn't be tested for everthing since it was still a viable heartbeat but promised quick results for what could be tested. I loved their sense of urgency - something that was clearly lacking at my old OB. It was pure angst waiting those 2 days for results. I wanted this pregnancy so badly at this point but I refused to let myself get attached. ..
I will never forget the day the nurse called me to come back to the office to start treatment. They infact found (what I had suggested could be a possible cause) my blood to have a form of thrombosis. I was immediately put on a blood thinner that I had to give myself via shots to my stomach twice daily for the entire length of my pregnancy. Sounds awful right? But my love for my unborn child started then and I was determined to bring him into this world. The rest is history. I moved on to a high-risk OB and a specialist for the latter terms of my pregnancy and grew increasingly attached to my little man because I was just certain that this prayer would be answered. That he was the one I was meant to have. But believe me, my pregnancy was no walk in the park.
So to answer my question. Is my little man the new love in my life? Yes. He fills my heart with more love and joy than I have ever thought existed. Inexplicably indescribable - as most mothers will atest to. But does he replace the love of my life? Absolutely not. It has only deepened my love for the man that my son resembles. And I know without question or reservation that my sexy husband is the love of my life, the reason my heart is so full... and why I continually waded through those muddy ponds full of carp looking for bass. That is why it is so important to me to make sure I never take him for granted.
http://www.stoptheclot.org/natt_publications/Thrombosis_and_pregnancy_factsheetLifeblood.pdf
Victoria's Embarrassing Moment at School Today...
So my sisters, even after 11 years of teaching, I have this continuing problem. It "really" does annoy me. I have tenure and nothing but impeccable observations, so when do I have to stop proving myself?
Almost every new person I meet say's, "OMG, the boys in your class must be in love with you and they are probably going home at night and ???? EEEWWWW! I'm continually saying, "NO, I'm very strict and professional, my students respect me, my long hair is pinned up and I don't look like this that at school.. blah blah blah!" My administrators and friends know this about me but there is this one nosey teacher.......
Naively she doesn't think her inquiries to my colleagues get back to me? Her most recent comment, "Victoria's students must hit on her so much?" forced me to change my nice stylish outfit one morning to a more conservative teacher look. Those tall leather boots with that medium length skirt looked so cute but I thought, NO, it will just give 45 year old negative Jan something to talk about. How much fun did I have that day after telling two people why I changed my shoes; they both contacted me by second period with a laugh. One called my room and said, “did you see Jan's outfit today, she's wearing tall black boots WITH A MINI SKIRT?” This was a male friend that said this to me; I laughed so hard and said, “that slut! The boys must hit on her!!" My male friend tries to make me feel better by telling me how jealous she is that nobody hits on her anymore. LOL He’s so funny and one of my best buds at school, so lucky to have him to vent to.
Finally, so what happened embarrassing today? Most popular senior boy in school, so he believes. He's one of those confident jocks who pulls up his sleeves in the hall and say's, "check out these guns!" while pointing to his puny muscles. Hee Hee Guess what he said to me in class? "So Miss Victoria, what are you doing on the 16th of January?" Meanwhile, guess who walked in my room behind me and heard that? I was so embarrassed and didn't know what to say so I quickly said, "I'm busy!" Yikes!!! It turns out when I reprimanded him later, he was just going to suggest that I watch a TV show that was on that night! lol Why me??? Should I confidently keep ignoring Mrs. Jan and killing her with my sweet smile and kindness or confront her? I can only figure it's competition because I do get frequent compliments on my outfits and admittedly she looks just as nice. She's married and lives in a house overlooking the lake. Why is she so curious about me?
Almost every new person I meet say's, "OMG, the boys in your class must be in love with you and they are probably going home at night and ???? EEEWWWW! I'm continually saying, "NO, I'm very strict and professional, my students respect me, my long hair is pinned up and I don't look like this that at school.. blah blah blah!" My administrators and friends know this about me but there is this one nosey teacher.......
Naively she doesn't think her inquiries to my colleagues get back to me? Her most recent comment, "Victoria's students must hit on her so much?" forced me to change my nice stylish outfit one morning to a more conservative teacher look. Those tall leather boots with that medium length skirt looked so cute but I thought, NO, it will just give 45 year old negative Jan something to talk about. How much fun did I have that day after telling two people why I changed my shoes; they both contacted me by second period with a laugh. One called my room and said, “did you see Jan's outfit today, she's wearing tall black boots WITH A MINI SKIRT?” This was a male friend that said this to me; I laughed so hard and said, “that slut! The boys must hit on her!!" My male friend tries to make me feel better by telling me how jealous she is that nobody hits on her anymore. LOL He’s so funny and one of my best buds at school, so lucky to have him to vent to.
Finally, so what happened embarrassing today? Most popular senior boy in school, so he believes. He's one of those confident jocks who pulls up his sleeves in the hall and say's, "check out these guns!" while pointing to his puny muscles. Hee Hee Guess what he said to me in class? "So Miss Victoria, what are you doing on the 16th of January?" Meanwhile, guess who walked in my room behind me and heard that? I was so embarrassed and didn't know what to say so I quickly said, "I'm busy!" Yikes!!! It turns out when I reprimanded him later, he was just going to suggest that I watch a TV show that was on that night! lol Why me??? Should I confidently keep ignoring Mrs. Jan and killing her with my sweet smile and kindness or confront her? I can only figure it's competition because I do get frequent compliments on my outfits and admittedly she looks just as nice. She's married and lives in a house overlooking the lake. Why is she so curious about me?
Jennifer's really weird dream......
Sisters in crime since elementary school- where were you last night in my NIGHTMARE?? I was back in the ville and I was my age NOW but I had to go back to high school! Ummm, HCS was looking much more decrepit and I was lost, confused and it was full of really old people and very few kids. My sweet and innocent little sis was selling weed and lost her shoes and I found them on the stairs. I tried to find out where I was supposed to go and the guidance counselors were clueless. The bathrooms were NASTY and there was something about ex-prison inmates being there. The lockers were teeny tiny and falling apart. It was horrible and scary, and maybe just a little bit funny when I woke up!! I was just as frustrated and wanted to get the hell out of there as much in my dream as I did back when we were actually there!
Remember how I used to say that I would never in my life wish that I could go back to that time? Well, right about now I must admit that I wouldn't mind it. If I had to choose, I would pick going back to the summer after graduation. The first thing I would change is I would go to college down south- maybe with Eva or even to Florida or Arizona. Somewhere warm. What the heck was I thinking going somewhere freezing cold with a guy?? I will definitely discourage my daughter from spending so much time with boyfriends and focus more on time with her sisters. The boys go- the girls don't.
Remember how I used to say that I would never in my life wish that I could go back to that time
Jen's off the South Beach Diet wagon
Aww, shit y'all. I just got booted off the South Beach Diet wagon. I was hungry and couldn't stand another egg, piece of cheese or salad. So I had some of the yummy Dreyer's Girl Scout Cookie Samoa ice cream that was in my freezer. Okay, I had the rest of the entire container. At least it's the light version. Ugh....
Need to see Confessions of a Shopaholic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwAv00EZ-nM
Definitely a movie for all sisters to enjoy. I also want to see Bride Wars, although it looks like they have shown the entire movie in the trailer already. My friend saw it (her sister works for Fox) and actually said there were still a lot of great parts!
Definitely a movie for all sisters to enjoy. I also want to see Bride Wars, although it looks like they have shown the entire movie in the trailer already. My friend saw it (her sister works for Fox) and actually said there were still a lot of great parts!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
About Eva - Down in Dixie
I am in a similar situation as my fellow "sister" Jennifer - married with a precious new baby. However, the journey for Eva getting to this stage in life has been vastly different... I have never been one to take the traditional route. As my father always said, "I'll take the road less traveled". In my case that meant that I would never follow the path that anyone in my judgemental family has ever wanted me take. Screw the naysayers, I say. I've always had an urge to happily blaze my own trail - for me it was always about the experiences, regardless of the outcome.
After "Mayberry", I moved South of the Dixie line searching for warmer weather and nicer guys, and never looking back. So I find it ironic that my sweet and sexy hubby is from the Windy City - Midwestern guys are so much nicer than their Southern counterparts. I'm what you would call a "serial monogamous dater" - my past is filled with strings of long relationships, with each slightly overlapping the previous, in my quest for true love and the white picket fence deal. Aww. Yep, you guessed it, I'm the hopeless romantic that always thought that each relationship might be "The One". I still gush at fairy-tale romantic comedies, always believing that you should not settle for any guy that is not the love of your life. Unless, that love turns out to be a controlling psycho, a momma's boy, a spineless slacker, an insecure tool, or a noncommital jerk. Nevertheless, I tirelessly sifted my way through those murky, algae-filled waters until I found him...
Although my life now is definitely NOT a Hollywood movie (the white fence looks more like some sparsely placed bushes bought on sale at Home Depot), I have to say that I am finally blessed with the things in life that I truly wanted and that matter most to me; love, family, and true friends. ... Oh, but I could write juicy books about some of the roads to get here. ;)
In this blog, I will write about my vast experiences from the rewarding yet tiring life as a new mommy while trying to be a sexy wife, to my difficult pregancy and miscarriage, to the road to our "shotgun" wedding, to my various relationships that includes an ex-husband, a previous Big Fat Greek Wedding, and life as "the other woman". And I can't forget about all the fabulous fun I had in between.
After "Mayberry", I moved South of the Dixie line searching for warmer weather and nicer guys, and never looking back. So I find it ironic that my sweet and sexy hubby is from the Windy City - Midwestern guys are so much nicer than their Southern counterparts. I'm what you would call a "serial monogamous dater" - my past is filled with strings of long relationships, with each slightly overlapping the previous, in my quest for true love and the white picket fence deal. Aww. Yep, you guessed it, I'm the hopeless romantic that always thought that each relationship might be "The One". I still gush at fairy-tale romantic comedies, always believing that you should not settle for any guy that is not the love of your life. Unless, that love turns out to be a controlling psycho, a momma's boy, a spineless slacker, an insecure tool, or a noncommital jerk. Nevertheless, I tirelessly sifted my way through those murky, algae-filled waters until I found him...
Although my life now is definitely NOT a Hollywood movie (the white fence looks more like some sparsely placed bushes bought on sale at Home Depot), I have to say that I am finally blessed with the things in life that I truly wanted and that matter most to me; love, family, and true friends. ... Oh, but I could write juicy books about some of the roads to get here. ;)
In this blog, I will write about my vast experiences from the rewarding yet tiring life as a new mommy while trying to be a sexy wife, to my difficult pregancy and miscarriage, to the road to our "shotgun" wedding, to my various relationships that includes an ex-husband, a previous Big Fat Greek Wedding, and life as "the other woman". And I can't forget about all the fabulous fun I had in between.
2 in 1 day from Jennifer - Baby Love!!
I just had to share, because Miss A just woke up and I swear, she changed in 1 nap. She is so beautiful, sweet, loving; it just takes my breath away. Even her hair looks different and I think she is getting her Daddy's chin. The proof is that I just fed her and she ate more than ever and with no fuss. Of course, she had to eat a lot to feed that growth spurt! I cannot believe I made something so amazing and she loves me so much. So worth being stinky all day!!
About Jennifer; Jenny from the block (of LA via Mayberry)
I'm Jennifer and so excited to have a blog to let my thoughts and emotions run free. I wrote in a journal until the last couple years. Now I don't like to because I am afraid that my husband will read it. Not because he is so awful and I have horrible things to say, but at times I need to vent and wouldn't want him to think my vents are constant feelings. Usually they are more hormonal whims.
Lately I've been really stressed. I am a SAHM, but I was a career woman before and fiercely independent. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home with Miss A, but at 10 months old and a bundle of energy, I feel like my days are Groundhog days in which I entertain her and don't even get to a shower. Last month I noticed that I was drinking almost every single night when my husband got home. Not much I guess..... I can barely get through 1 glass of wine in 3 hours with her. But I was- am- craving it and wanting it just for the release. It makes sense because that's how I always dealt with stress.
I also have about 7lbs. left to pre-baby weight which, admittedly, was a few lbs. over my happy place to begin with. So for new years, I started the South Beach diet again. That's addressing 2 issues at once- the weight as well as the booze crutch. =)
This is probably what you will read most about from me: My husband issues, baby issues and the attached guilt to that, losing the baby weight and oozing hotness, the college class I am about to start next week in my quest to finally obtain my bachelor's degree. 1 class at a time.... almost there. And probably a bit about my faith. I was Catholic, now I'm Jewish. Now you probably really understand why I want to drink and why I feel so guilty about it!!
Lately I've been really stressed. I am a SAHM, but I was a career woman before and fiercely independent. I feel very blessed to be able to stay home with Miss A, but at 10 months old and a bundle of energy, I feel like my days are Groundhog days in which I entertain her and don't even get to a shower. Last month I noticed that I was drinking almost every single night when my husband got home. Not much I guess..... I can barely get through 1 glass of wine in 3 hours with her. But I was- am- craving it and wanting it just for the release. It makes sense because that's how I always dealt with stress.
I also have about 7lbs. left to pre-baby weight which, admittedly, was a few lbs. over my happy place to begin with. So for new years, I started the South Beach diet again. That's addressing 2 issues at once- the weight as well as the booze crutch. =)
This is probably what you will read most about from me: My husband issues, baby issues and the attached guilt to that, losing the baby weight and oozing hotness, the college class I am about to start next week in my quest to finally obtain my bachelor's degree. 1 class at a time.... almost there. And probably a bit about my faith. I was Catholic, now I'm Jewish. Now you probably really understand why I want to drink and why I feel so guilty about it!!
About Victoria
Hello, my name is Victoria. I am a school teacher and admittedly very nervous that my students will find this page. =) So if it appears that I'm not writing very many details that's why? Trust me, I'M NOT SHY! =) However, I am a very private person. But once I get to trust and know you, I don't stop talking. Growing up I always claimed to be the funny one, I still believe I am the funniest friend although Angelina will beg to differ. I'm fiercely independent and have grown to enjoy my alone time, probably why I'm still single. My friends claim that nobody can keep me for 6-months. Maybe I'm starting to see a pattern and some truth to that. If so, I guess the guy that can will be the one I marry. I'll write more later on my ideal guy............. I have to go grade some papers. =)
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