My Husband, The Good Father

Before we had our baby, I, like most women out there, would imagine the kind of father my husband would be. I would create images in my head of him holding and kissing the baby, rocking him to sleep, talking to him in his "baby voice", and doing the dad type of things such as throwing him in the air as the baby laughs. I always knew he would be a hands-on, doting father.

I knew this because men are predictable in this fashion. He was always caring, thoughtful, nurturing and doting toward me. From our first date, he had that sense of "needing to provide", that many men have (but trust me, there are a lot of men out there lacking this trait). However, since we were rarely around children, the true test came when I could see the kind of "father" he would be toward our English Bulldog puppy that I surprised him with 2 years ago. Of course he passed with flying colors. His "princess", as he lovingly refers to her, is loved to the brink of being spoiled. I think at one point, I was slightly suspicious that he might love our dog more than he loved me. He never treated her as our pet, she was always our child. She slept in the bed with us, he would cuddle her and kiss her wrinkly face that only a father could love, but he was equally firm with disciplining her. She has turned out to be a sweet and well-behaved dog. After seeing all this first hand, I was convinced he would be an excellent father; and I was right. All of those loving parental traits carried over seamlessly to our baby. From the moment our little man arrived, my husband easily melded into the role of doting daddy. There were no awkward moments for him holding the baby, they bonded immediately (even before I had a chance to), and he was the first one to change the baby's diaper since I could barely move due to the pain from my c-section. Not once did I ever have to show my husband how to do anything in regards to caring for our baby. Pretty nice, I have to admit.

The thing that I did not anticipate, is that he would continue to love our bulldog as his "delicate precious angel" and our baby boy as his "tough guy" that can handle a little crying. I'm glad that he hasn't just kicked our dog out to the garage simply because we have a baby now, I just assumed there would be a hierarchy in the family order. As for me, I love our "little girl", but she has definitely taken a back seat to the demands of the baby. And quite frankly, I naturally love my baby a whole lot more than the dog. However, there are times when it is clearly hard to decipher if the dog or baby is more favored by him. My husband is such a good father in fact, that he goes to great lengths to make sure the love and attention is equally spread out between "his princess" and his son. He still tucks the dog in each night, as she still shares our bed with us, only now, I have to find space in our bed to nurse the baby at night. If I rock or coddle the baby, my husband will automatically do the same to the dog "so she won't feel left out". When he is traveling for work, the first thing he will ask about is "how his precious angel is doing", and since he has never given me that name, I know it's not me that he is referring to. He even greets the dog first when he walks in the door. The funny part is that he will lovingly remind me to kiss, or cuddle, or massage our bulldog when he is away. HA! Like I have the time!

I will say that it took a little time for me to accept the fact that he was not going to put the dog second to the baby, the way I did. They are equal in his eyes. My conclusion from these observations: That my husband is not just a good father, he is an excellent father and has the ability to play no favorites in his family. He will truly be able to give all of his children equal attention (maybe it's the middle child syndrome). It is I, who may have the problem splitting time and attention between multiple children. We'll see.